Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year

"Joe is defenseless against Russell's charm's."

Thank You Ni C Hbchsr

Friday, December 28, 2012

End of the Year

Person(s) of the Year: Voters. I had a tough time with my year end wrap up for 2012 because I usually tend to gravitate toward entertainment news over serious topics. However the biggest story of the year was undoubtedly the politics. I chose voters as my Person(s) of the Year because in the end it was our choices that made history. President Obama won re-election because voters chose him. Voters also passed bills in favor of gay marriage and marijuana usage. Voters got out to the polls to make their voices heard and hopefully it will be the start of some real change. 

Best Book (audio): Girl Walks Into a Bar by Rachel Dratch- I bought this audio book to listen to as I drove from Connecticut to Texas. It's a great book that is both funny and touching. Since my first listen, I have gone back and 'read' it about 10 more times. No joke. I've listened to it at work and on planes and it continues to entertain me. Side note: I hate to read, so all my books are always audio.

Best Album: Ceremonial by Florance and the Machine. There were not a lot of memorable moments in music this year. It occurred to me that Ceremonials was by far the album that I listened to the most. Seeing Florance and the Machine live in concert elevated it to another level. If you get a chance, they are a must see.

Best bear run adds: Orlando Bear Bash via Tumblr. They know their market and have pumped out cock and cum filled adds. LOVE IT!

Best Reality Show Winner: Sharon Needles. Chad Michaels may have won All Stars but she was already beaten by Sharon Needles. Hands down my favorite Rupaul winner.

Best TV Show: I couldn't narrow it down to just one or two. I had a three way tie for my favorite tv show. The Wend Williams Show, Rupaul's Drag Race and Fashion Police.

Funniest Movie: For a Good Time Call. This film was missed by a lot of movie go-ers even though it was hilarious. Catch it on video if you get the chance.

Person who I hated and ended up liking: Taylor Swift Ok I'll admit it... she won me over with her song We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. I love it, especially the part in the middle where she talks.

Best TV moment: Rupaul's All Stars Drag Race: (Episode 5) The 'Lip Sync for Your Life' competition between JuJubee and Raven to Robyn's Dancing On My Own. IT. WAS. EVERYTHING. Easily the best moment of the season. Sorry Chad Michaels, you were upstaged again.

Best One Hit Wonder: Call Me Maybe. Is Carly Rae Jepsen going to have another hit? That is big far NO! Sorry Carly. Call Me Maybe is a really good song though.

Best Sneakers: Brenden. I had to give Brenden a special mention because he invited me to parties and introduced me to all his friends when I first moved here. I will always be grateful for that. It really made a huge difference. He's a good friend. He also has the best sneakers. His current pair is orange.

Best Picture (that I can't publish): Andy S. I can't/won't show it because it's not mine to share. However it's such an awesome picture on so many levels. He manages cute and sexy amongst a gold gilded living room. It was so amazing that both me and by boyfriend created our own versions of it. (No I can't show those either)

Shout Outs: The men of Dallas- Nick, Stephen, Mark Ami and Jared, Jay and Stephan, Kevin, Scott and Greg, Mikel, Mario, Javier, Wylie, Darren, Ricky, Howard and Mike, Doug, Brad, Jeff K, John, Keith and Katrina, Levin, Travis, and any of the other Dallas bears that I may have forgotten. You've been warm and welcoming. Thanks for making my move that much easier.

Best of the Best: Russell. I can't give a 2012 wrap up without mentioning the man who has made me the happiest this year. From our first date we had an instant connection and I knew he was someone special. He's kind and funny, not to mention he's the best looking man I've ever seen. I can't wait to see what the future has in store. You're the best Bubba.


Monday, December 24, 2012

In The News

Was anyone else kind of hoping the world would end so we could avoid paying bills? Apparently the Mayans were wrong because 12/21/12 came and went without incident. With Christmas coming and and all those apocalypse parties, you may have to busy to catch up on this week's news. Here a chance for you to catch up:

The major news story has been the grief and anger in the aftermath of the tragic shootings at Sandy Hook School. Not surprisingly, a lot of the anger has been directed toward the NRA and gun control laws. The whole thing is such a sad affair. Hopefully this will start a real conversation in Washington on stricter gun laws. Unfortunately even with the strictest laws, events like this are an anomaly and impossible to prevent.

We're headed over the fiscal cliff and the public doesn't seem to care.

Ms. USA won Ms. Universe dressed like a modern day Mrs. Clause.

Ke$ha's song "Die Young" has been pulled from many radio stations in the wake of the Newtown tragedy. On a side note, my boyfriend is obsessed with her new album and says the whole thing is incredibly good.

Tom Cruise bought a $13.5 million house in upstate New York for his daughter Suri.  Supposedly he wanted her to have a picturesque Christmas and needed a place to house her new pony. I wonder what Cruise's other two children get in their stocking? Yes, remember his other two kids.

I love this time of year because it means Peppermint Bark is back. My personal favorite is from Harry & David.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their first child. Ideas for baby names, Girl: Buffy  Boy: Mumford.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Myth of the Free Internet

My personal Instagram ad.
Instagram has been making headlines this week after updating their Terms of Service contract. Users across the globe got their panties in a twist after finding out that their images could be used for advertising purposes. You had a right to be angry knowing that there was the possibility of having your images bought and sold without your consent. Sensing a public relations nightmare, Instagram co-founder Kevin Systrom quickly released a statement on his blog to clarify the changes. Although it was all generalized, it sounds like IG's goal is not to sell your photo's but allow companies to use the site as for advertising.

All this digital drama fascinated me for a couple reasons. Let's say IG was in fact planning on using your photos in their ads or ads for other companies. I'm not sure why that is such a bad thing? Are people offended by the intrusion on their privacy or is it a copyright type of issue where they think their pictures are their property? If your sense of privacy was offended then you need to get a search committee together to find your common sense. The whole point is to share pictures with other people! There is nothing private about Instagram. By definition, it is the exact opposite of private. That leaves the ownership/copyright issue. I can understand that a little more and its especially true if you're a professional photographer. (which I am not) However, if the case were ever to be heard in court, IG's defense could be that the pictures where taken using their application and filters and due to that they in fact own the images. It's not a bullet proof defense, but one to consider. Does a director own his movie or is it the studio who funded it? One last point on this topic: If Instagram was going to sell images, I guarantee mine (and yours) would not be one of them. Advertising is still the shallow generalized mass media beast it always was. The only people who need worry are skinny blond girls and hypster boys with Justin Bieber haircuts. Hairy gay belly lovers need not worry.

The other point I found intriguing was that a lot of people still believe the myth of the free internet. Quoting a article on the subject, "Metafilter user Blue_beetle famously put it in 2010: If you're not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold." That's the real lesson of this story. Your mom was right, you can't get something for nothing. Instagram is now owned by Facebook who wrote the book on shady misuse of user date. Do you really think your images are really that private on Facebook? Even with their (laughable) privacy settings, FB is data mining every aspect of your life. They are not the only ones either. One election night many experts cited President Obama's data driven campaign as a key factor in his victory. I won't bore you with the details here, but visit MIT Technology Review who did a very in depth article on the subject. The point is that your likes, dislikes, habits, and feelings are very valuable to big business. Free websites and applications still need to make money and most do that by selling advertising and/or date. The most common example of this is stores sharing your email address with other like retailers. I shop at Bath and Body Works and there for get the occasional mailing from Victoria's Secret. It's also no accident that I see ads for Gay dating sites and fashion retailers on my Facebook page. FB tracks what you like and tries to aim the ads accordingly. [Side note: It's always funny when this goes wrong. Does anyone else get adds for women's shoes on Growlr. Hilarious!]

In the end, you need to make a choice. Opt out by trying to stay off the 'grid' as much as possible or dive in knowing that the whole world is watching. If you can't live without social media just remember your common sense. Don't share anything you would not be willing to defend in court or to your mother.

In case you're wondering, I would defend every word and dirty image I've every posted. Gasp!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Lessons from Xtube


Here's a tip... if you're making an Xtube video DON'T KEEP LOOKING AT THE CAMERA. This would be a totally hot video except the cherubian chubby boy has locked eye contact with camera through out the whole clip. It's distracting. The random beer drinking is a little strange too. Next time if you focus on the thick cock in your ass and not the camera in front of you we'll all enjoy it better.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Grammys Suck (Still)

The Grammy nominations were announced last week there was one key takeaway: It was a very weak year for good music. Let me start by saying that I've always lacked a certain amount of respect for the Grammys. They lack consistency and with so many categories almost anyone can get a trophy. My left testicle was even nominated for Best Historical Album and Best Pop Instrumental Performance. (yes those are real categories) The Grammys have evolved over the years and today's awards have the taste level of a sexually confused 17 year old. While they try and look grungy and hypster chic on the outside deep down they still like cheesy mass market pop music. These two sides provide a bizarre mix. To satisfy it's hypster taste this year we have Goyte, The Black Keys, and Frank Ocean. *A side note: this is going to make me sound like a grumpy old man but I don't why people like Frank Ocean's music. It's fucking terrible.* While you were lamenting Goyte's nomination for Record of the Year the Grammys snuck in some Taylor Swift and an ass load of Kelly Clarkson to satisfy the boring pop side. Yes that's right, KC got a nod for Song and Records of the Year for Stronger (What doesn't kill you) That song was mildly entertaining at best. In no universe does it or she deserve 4 nominations.

Album of the year doesn't get much better. It's a heaping pile of who cares. Album of the Year includes: Jack White, Frank Ocean, Mumford and Sons, the Black Keys and Fun. I want to create and angry cat meme just for this category. It was also pointed out by E! Online that the entire category is all male. That's interesting when you consider that for the past couple years female artists have been leading the way and driving sales. The biggest names in music right now are Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Adele, Rihanna, Beyonce amongst others. I think Justin Bieber can also be lumped in with the girls on this one. Not all of ladies had deserving or eligible albums but there's got to be at least one vagina that made a worthy album contender. My vote for that spot is Florence and the Machine. SO GOOD!

Other noted Grammy news:

-Ms. Carly Rae Jepsen got a couple nods for Call Me Maybe

-Pink was almost except for a Pop Album nod.

-Nicki Minaj was totally ignored. (They may have gotten this one right)

-As I said Florence and the Machine should've got an Album of the Year nomination for Ceremonials. At least they got a couple nod's in other categories.

-Where is David Guetta? I loved Titanium so much that I still think it deserves a Song of the Year spot.

-What happened to the Dance category? Dance is paired with Electronic and later dominated the category. Props to Skrillex and Avicii... but no Rihanna? Where Have You Been is a solid dance song.

-SWV got nominated for Best Traditional R&B Performance. Who knew they had a new album out? Good for you ladies!

For a complete list of nominations visit the official Grammy website


Saturday, December 8, 2012

New Music

This week's new music breakdown: (having to type his name like that makes me dislike him more) has a new video for his song Scream and Shout featuring Britney Spears. The song sounds like something I've heard before... Nothing specific but it's as if he took a bunch of Black Eyed Peas' songs, put them in a blender, and added a dash of Britney. Also is Britney singing with a faux British accent? Who does that? Either way she looks AMAZING! I'm also ashamed to admit that I may be obsessed with this song. I heard it on the radio and liked it a lot more without the video.

Poor Nicki Minaj. Her new album isn't selling well. Maybe it's because people don't realize she has a new one out. She needs a new idea. Here's the break down: Her first (and most successful) album was Pink Friday. Since then she keeps trying to recapture that magic. Her second album was titled Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded. Ok, not the most original title but I can deal with it. Lady Gaga did it once so I'll give you a free pass. (Let it be said that Lady Gaga did it much better with The Fame and The Fame Monster respectively) Now her third album is titled Pink Friday Roman Reloaded: The Re-Up. Seriously? I mean really? I think it's time to scrap the whole Pink Friday thing and start fresh. 

I have a love hate relationship with Pink and currently I'm on the side of hate. I won't go into the whole thing now, but I've always thought she was a bit of a hypocrite for her song/video Stupid Girls and more recently I cringed at the line "Too school for cool" from her song Raise Your Glass. Regardless of my opinion, Pink has been turning out hit songs for years. Her new video for Try is very well done and should win an award for choreography if such a category exists. Unfortunately, unlike Scream and Shout, this song needs the video. When I heard Try on the radio it felt like something was missing.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Finders Keepers

It's come to my attention that some people lack the skills to find a person online. If you're too shy to actually approach them in person, here are other ways to find out more info. Clarification: When I say 'find more info' it usually means finding X rated content.

These tips may come in handy if you are to nervous to talk to someone one or maybe they left before you had a chance to chat. If you're at a bear event, it impossible to talk to everyone you're interested in. Once you get home the online search begins for that hot couple you kept seeing. I'll give you an example to start off with: I saw a guy this past weekend at the Dallas Eagle who was very cute. He also happen to look a lot like my friend Mike. I pointed out the likeness to the mutual friend I was chatting with and he happened to mention they were Tumblr friends. This is enough information to start a bountiful search. The tips vary based on what you know and what you want to find. so let's break it down step by step:

1. Friends are the best resource. I know someone who I've nicknamed the Bear Rolodex for his expert skills vast and archives of bear porn. The Bear/Chub/Chaser community is a tightly knit one and you probable know someone in common. Or at the very least you may know someone who has stumbled across their profile(s) at some point. Friend can provide a lot of the basic information like name or city to start searching. 

2. Who do your friend know? Friend can also provide great information without knowing it. Sites like Facebook, Instagram, Xtube, and Tumblr all feature ways to link to other peoples profiles. Whether its following on Tumbler and Instagram or friends on Xtube and Facebook there are ways to see who your friends know. Often called poaching, it refers to going through someone's friend list and steeling anyone that looks cute. This is especially helpful on Instagram.

3. What's their screen name? Many people use the same screen names across multiple sites. Some screen names have become nicknames in real life. Let's say there's a sexy guy you know and you'd love to see his naked pictures. You also noticed that he uses the same name on a couple of sites... AlabamaSlammaa. Using that screen name is an easy way to search for him. For example everyone's Tumblr web address follows the same format. So in this case it would be The same goes for Xtube. (If you haven't looked already, AlabamaSlammaa is just a name I made up for this example. Sorry guys.)

4.Sometimes you have to do the grunt work. In some cases you may only have very limited information. You may only know that he lives in Seattle and nothing else. In those instances, its time for the old school location search. Sites like Bear411, BiggerCity, BigMuscleBears, and Manhunt are useful because they allow you the ability to seach based on location. If you're lucky he lives in a small town because if you're unlucky you may have to sift through 80 pages of search results if he lives in New York City. Even Growlr has a feature where you can search by city.

5. Just Ask. Its the simplest way to get what you want. But be warned... if you want X rated content you're going to be expected to give X rated content. (I'm talking to you Ollie) Many will trade pics but few will give them up with no strings attached. 

6. You may need good old fashion luck. Finding someone on Tumblr can be extremely difficult if you do not know a screen name. Sometime you just have to wait for luck to intervene and their picture to show up in your news feed. I've found two friends on Xtube simple by accidentally stumbling onto their videos.

As you can see it's not difficult to find someone online. You can also use all this information if you do not want to be found. If you want to hide, simply do the opposite of everything I listed. Just know that once you share a picture or video with one person it's like sharing it with the world. Once that door is open it's near impossible to shut. Personally I love it when people share dirty pictures. Nothing makes me happier then a text message with a new iPhone sex video attached. That's perfect j/o material.

P.S. Googling a person is amateur and rarely gives your the results you're looking for. Unless of course you're searching for someone like Rihanna or Pam Anderson. 


Monday, December 3, 2012

BearCity 2: The Proposal

This is a review of the movie, but I'll warn you before I spoil any plot lines if you haven't seen it yet. 

Yesterday afternoon I was treated to a screening of BearCity 2: The Proposal. I liked it more then I thought I would and I'll admit I teared up at the end. To be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of the first movie so my expectations may have been low. All the same actors and characters come back to develop their story lines a little deeper. My problem with the first film was the two leading characters Tyler and Roger. (and some of the same problems continue into the sequel) Something was missing from their story line and I cared more about the supporting actors. Not to mention it wasn't very believable that Tyler, a supposed chubby daddy bear chaser would end up with Roger and his toned gym body.

Apparently I wasn't the only person with these criticisms because the film makers addressed almost every issue in the sequel making for a much improved film. BearCity 2 opens as Roger proposes to Tyler who's a bit scared of the commitment. Roger's dream is to have his wedding in Ptown so the gang packs up and heads for Bear Week. It was as accurate a portrayal of Bear Week as any fictitious story could be. The comedy and heart of the movie lies on the shoulders of it's supporting characters. Brent (played by Stephen Guarino) steals the show and outshines everyone else! In fact I almost wish he and partner Fred (played by Brian Keane) were the lead characters. Their scenes are hilarious and heart warming. There were plenty winks to the Ptown  including the dick dock, Spiritus pizza, and the boat slip t-dance. If you've never been to Ptown you'll still laugh at C-pap jokes and the Chicago triad rooming upstairs.

*Spoiler Alert* Proceed with caution ;-)

I was glad this movie addressed the issue of the lead characters' mismatched types. Tyler starts flirting with a friendly beefy-bellied bear and Roger reconnects with an old flame. Obviously the two new men complicate matters and cracks start to form leading to their eventual split. I was glad to see the film didn't have the cliche ending of all romantic comedies where all problems are solved and the couple lives happily ever after. Although they remain friends the two do not reunite. As I said, I enjoyed the film and would recommend it to the any of my friends. I enjoyed seeing friends in the background and playing the always fun game "Count how many guys I've had sex with."

Look for Kathy Najimy, who is perfectly cast as Brent's mother Rose. Cameo's include Kevin Smith, Mike Ruiz, Varla Jean Merman, and my favorite round sound mixer DJ Kurt Jo.

Rating: Two Thumbs Up

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Shout Outs!

My boyfriend in Houston November 2012
Me in New Haven September 2011
 A shout out to white sneakers! You can be boring with your black books but white sneakers stand out. A side note: Each of the two pictures were taken independently of each other. How crazy is it that my boyfriend's pal took almost the exact same photo as someone took of me?!?

A shout out to dogs in cars! Nothing makes a pooch happier then going for a ride.

A shout out to Target! Their Evolve men's underwear is comfortable, cute and cost effective. $12.99 for a box of two.

A shout out to World AIDS day! Get tested and know your status.

A shout out to Apple Pie Shots! Pineapple Juice, Goldschlager, and Apple Schnapps. Delicious.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Joy and Pain

Reflecting on Thanksgiving

I went home to Connecticut for Thanksgiving to spend quality time with my family. It was a wonderfully delicious dinner filled with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, gravy, and more. My sister even stayed over for a night so we could all be under one roof again. I even got some couch time with the pugs. It was like old times as they fell asleep and snored on my lap. Spending the weekend with my parents and sister gave me the opportunity to recharge my battery. In the past I have never cared much for holidays but this year I couldn't have been happier to be home. I didn't even mind sleeping on a cheap blow up mattress. It was one of the best Thanksgiving I can remember with my family. 

My weekend was bitter sweet though. While I was back in the northeast I wanted to try and spend as much quality time with friends as I did with family. Unfortunately I was let down. Everyone has a life and things always come up. But I thought they would want to see me as much as I wanted to see them. I thought I was more important then bull shit. Bull shit won. I was not naive assuming that everyone would drop their holiday plans at a second's notice. In fact, I tried to get the ball rolling back in September. I knew Thanksgiving weekend would be the best opportunity for quality time so I made a post on Facebook so my visit could be worked into schedules. As the weeks and months went by I also dropped reminder text messages to keep the thought fresh in mind. The response I got was pitiful. I don't like to pull out the 'distance card' a lot, but I do in  fact live 1500 miles away now and I thought my return home would be met with a bit more celebration. It was one of those small moments in life where you see a person's true nature. 

As I flew home Saturday night I was surprised at how relieved I was to be coming back to Dallas. I missed Dallas and I missed my boyfriend. I knew in my heart I had made the correct decision to move. I was also tremendously angry and disappointed for feeling like I had to beg a person to spend time with them. It's an awful feeling when you have to beg. But life moves on and changes. I will choose to remember the great times of past and not the douche bag moments of the present.

One a finale note, I do not want the actions of a few to taint the actions of the many. Not everyone in Connecticut let me down. On Wednesday night I was able to catch up (even if just briefly) with a lot of good people. 


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Tom's Diner

 A blast from the past. This song still gets stuck, if not glued, in my head.


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

I worked as a retail manager for a long time and after years at the mall I lost any holiday cheer. Thanksgiving and Christmas became just another day and I started to associate the entire season with business and stress. Having gotten out of the retail game, I noticed the scab has finally fallen off. This year is one of the first years in a very long time that I'm looking forward to the holidays. There have been many changes in my life this year and living 1500 miles aways has definitely affected my feelings toward Thanksgiving and Christmas. After months away I have the chance to come home and spend time with my family and friends. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

So the spirit of giving thanks and positive thinking, this is what I am thankful for:

I am thankful for meeting a wonderful man that I can now call my boyfriend. Changing my relationship status on Facebook was a rare treat that gave me joy. I have no idea what the future holds but I'm enjoying the ride.

I am thankful for change. I already knew it was true, but I confirmed to myself that change is always good. My life had become very routine and I need a major life overhaul to get me out of my rut.

I am thankful for exhibitionists. I love having horny friends that enjoying taking pictures and videos of themselves in various stages of sex and undress. Joe Hooch deserves a special shout out in this category. He's one of the sexiest guys I know and I am in awe of his... shall we say... talent. I've never had the skill to pick up straight guys and I'll admit I'm a little jealous of his ability to swallow straight dick. Keep it up Hooch! You've got my admiration and praise.

I am thankful for debt. It may sound very strange to be thankful for debt but I look at my Visa bill as a representation of all the fun I've had over the years. Most of my debt comes from traveling and furnishing an empty Dallas apartment. (In general, moving to Texas tripled my debt) I have no regrets though. I am also lucky to have a job that allows me the opportunity to be able to pay off said debt.

Most importantly, spending time with your family can be wonderful and awful all at the same time. This year take a moment to reflect on how you can help others, and by others I of course mean me. Sneak upstairs  and pull out Growlr, Xtube, or Tumblr. Whatever you need to get horny. Then send me the pictures/video of you jerking off. If you have a horny friend, a blow job, rimming, or fucking video is much preferred. Please help me be more thankful for nudity, cum shots, and cockrings today.  I promise, your donation will not go unused.

Friday, November 16, 2012

iPhone iGone

My iPhone was stolen Tuesday night. The details are not important nor are they very interesting. Instead I want to focus on what happened after the fact. The story branches off in several directions follow along part by part:

Part 1: Did you use Find My Phone?

Whenever I tell someone that my phone is stolen I always get the same response without fail. “Did you use the find my phone feature?”

Let me be clear on one point, my phone was not lost, forgotten, or misplaced. It was taken from me. So finding my phone wouldn’t really do any good. Let’s say I used the feature and then located the phone via GPS…then what? Get a bunch of angry baseball bat wielding lesbians to hunt the guy down? Call the police? I doubt a stolen iPhone is at the top of their priority list. It’s gone. I happen to be chatting with a gent on Growlr who recognized me from being at J Crew the night before. I told him I was there to get a new phone case and he asked if the new case was the one featured in my profile pic. (My profile pic is a mirror shot taken with my old phone and case) I informed him that sadly no, that phone and case was stolen. This got him all worked up, and in an effort to help he went on a diatribe, “Did you use Find My Phone to locate it? You know it can play a sound or even take a picture so you know where it is or who has it.” On and on he went. I was already tired of dealing with the situation and wasn’t in the mood to rehash all the detail to a Growlr stranger. I tried to be concise and to the point. “Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately my phone is gone. A lot of people have much bigger problems so I’ll just move on. No serious harm done.” That’s how I feel about the whole ordeal. It sucked and I was angry and upset when it happened. However, I can look at the big picture and realize it’s a small drop in the bucket. I was not harmed and if I had to choose between my wallet and my phone, I’d rather have my phone be taken. Oh and to answer your other question, no I did not have insurance on my phone. The best way to sum up the event is #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS

Part 2: What to do when your phone is stolen

Yes it’s true; there is a find your phone feature on the iPhone that can help with misplaced devices within your home. Through the iCloud website you can make your phone or tablet make noise even if it’s on silent. As I said, this feature was of little use to me with my situation. Instead I used another very helpful feature. Through the same site, I was able to wipe out my phone remotely. Basically the next time someone went to use my phone, Apple would automatically wipe out all of my information. That was re-assuring. Next I went online and suspended my service through AT&T and changed my Facebook and email passwords. I tried to change any passwords that were saved as defaults on my phone. I didn’t need some cholo reeking havoc on my friends list. Now that I felt safe that my identity wasn’t stolen, there was still the small matter of not having a phone. I don’t have a land line phone at my apt so there was no way to call and notify people. Facebook messaging came in handy as I typed calls for help.

Part 3: A Little Help from my friends

I was very lucky that my Texas cowboy had just upgraded to the iPhone 5 because he was kind enough to give me his old iPhone 4. Thank god because I checked and I was not eligible for an upgrade until June of 2013 meaning I would've had to pay full price. Yikes! On a random side note: When I reloaded the new phone it brought back my pictures, settings, and apps as promised. The bizarre thing is that is brought back everything as of mid September. So for example, I lost every picture I've taken in the last 2 months. Not a huge loss, just strange. But back to our story, when it first happened I felt violated. I also felt like a naive out-of-towner who was bitch slapped by the big city. I definitely admit I was a bit to comfortable and thought this type of thing wouldn’t happen to me. In a moment of fear and panic I retreated to Irving to spend the night at the cowboy’s apartment. He gave me a big hug and withheld any judgment. As I look back on it, the non judgment was huge. I’ve talked at length before about people reacting badly in tense situations (See 'Stick and Stones Can Break My Bones' from Sept 30th) and how one poor reaction can taint my feelings toward them. Had it been a test, he would have passed with flying colors. He was supportive, calm, and helped get my mind off of the evening’s events. I also felt much better having someone to sleep next to that night.

Part 4: I’m a pessimistic optimist

The night it happened I was shaken, embarrassed, and upset. Since then I’ve tried to have a very Zen approach to the whole incident and put it into perspective. Like I said, there are people in the world with real problems and my one little phone doesn’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things. Hunger, disease, catastrophe… those are problems. I always try and think It could have been worse.  Until now I never thought of myself as an optimist. In fact I think I tend to expect the worst in many situations. However when the worst happens, I’ve noticed I usually try and find the the positive spin. The Oprah way out of things. By that I mean, the Oprah lesson that this minor upset is a lesson in disguise and use it as a chance to grow. I guess the lesson is perspective. Your troubles are only as great as you think they are. Plus it helps to have supportive friends that will lend a helping hand. (or phone)


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Expensive Nonsense

Christmas is only a month an a half away so I thought I'd give you some holiday shopping suggestions for everyone on your list. This week focuses on the uber wealthy who have nothing else to do but waste their money on overpriced nonsense. Here are the must haves for the billionaire with cash to burn:

Metallic Gold Leather Jacket by John Galliano
(Obviously my personal favorite!) 

Flying Hoovercraft
Hammacher Schlemmer 
20 Foot Animatronic Triceratops
Hammacher Schlemmer
Authentic New York Hot Dog Cart
Hammacher Schlemmer 

Le Mer: Creme de la Mer 16.5 oz
Neimann Marcus

Ballon Blue de Cartier Watch

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Donald Trump is Racist! An Open Letter to the Republican Party

Dear Republicans, 

I've had a good night sleep so I'm feeling extra nice. Due to my good mood I thought I would give you some advise after a big lose on Tuesday. You were running against President Obama who did not have strong approval ratings. Now that the election is over I'll even admit Obama was beatable. But you still lost and even though that gives me evil pleasure. I want to help. The Republican Party is like the Oldsmobile auto brand, past it's prime and due to be discontinued. Rather then face extinction, here are some tips to update and revamp your image.

Donald Trump is a racist buffoon who loves to hear himself talk. He has questioned the president’s birthplace forcing Obama to release his birth certificate. Not to be dissuaded he went on to question the president’s education based on no evidence of dishonesty. It boils down to pure racism. Deep down I think/hope that the Republican party doesn’t agree with what Trump says but they play nice because he one of the only celebrities they have on their side. (Apart from Clint Eastwood and we saw how that worked out) Here’s the thing though, Trump is incredibly racist and he’s doing much more harm then good. Even the average citizen who may dabble in racism can tell something’s wrong and he's gone a bit to far. When I say dabbles in racism I simply mean the kind of person who uses the N word followed by the classic phrase “I’m not racist, I have black friends.” While we’re on the subject of racists, the Republicans need to de-friend the Tea Partiers. They are also shockingly racist. The first Tea Party rallies were only a month or two after Obama took office back in 2009. That means they weren’t angry with Obama as much as they simply wanted their white guy back.

Your core support group is shrinking. Actually dying may be a more appropriate word. Straight angry white guys do not have the same power in numbers as that they used to because they are literally dying. Minority groups as a whole are growing and republicans have done nothing to reach out to them. I saw a commentator on CNN speak about Obama’s win of swing state Nevada. She had this to say, “Many of the Hispanic voters in Nevada didn’t love how Obama first term, but they were terrified of life under Romney.” I think a lot of (minority) voters across the country felt the same way. They chose Obama because they really didn’t want Romney or the republicans. Like minorities, young voters see republicans as out of touch. Times have changed and republicans have not. It reminds me of the church. Religion’s influence has seriously eroded over the last 25 years and they have done nothing to reach out to younger parishioners with ever changing needs. Adding insult to injury, Republicans rely heavily on religious voters. Oops! You're screwed on both ends.
Shockingly, I’m going to reference an American Guy episode to help make my point. (I know, I know) In the episode, and anti-gay republican Stan Smith has the epiphany that (gay) Log Cabin republicans did not choose to be gay but they did chose to be Republican. Why turn away potential supports because of one (non-life threatening) issue. When you discriminate against gays you are also loosing out on their money and voting power. It also sends out a general vibe of anger and hatred that's not attractive to anyone. If the Republicans were a guy on Growlr, he'd have the long profile diatribe listing everything he doesn't like. Don't forget, no fems or fatties. Back to politics, warming up to gays would send a message to other voters. Whether you call us the Heathers or the Plastics… lets face it, we’re the cool kids and everyone wants to be wear we are and do what we do. If you get the gays I promise black, Hispanic, and other minority voters will slowly follow. I also won’t go into the long diatribe about how gay marriage literally has no affect on straight people’s lives what so ever. NONE! Why do you care so much.But that's a subject for another post.

Similar to the Donald Trump, the Republican party seems to be overrun with crazies. Michelle Bachman, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Sarah Palin amongst others. I can think of 4 high level crazies right off the top of my head and I don't even follow politics that closely. It doesn't stop there, you had not one but two idiot candidates talking about rape. RAPE! I've never taken a public speaking class but I'm sure lesson #1 is don't talk about legitimate rape. It's time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of all the nut jobs giving you bad press. They're making the democrat's job way to easy. 

I hope this helps. I'll personally never vote for a republican candidate but it's always nice to have an enemy that puts up a good fight. Obama nailed Romney's ass to the wall on election night. Hey, maybe that's what Todd Akin meant by legitimate rape?

Yours Truly
The Gay Gasp

P.S. Romney lost the state of Wisconsin even though that is the home state of running make Paul Ryan. To make it worse, Romney didn't even win Ryan's home county. You'd think Ryan would have enough family members and friends to have an edge but Obama still won. Yikes. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


First look through the list and then we'll chat.

The Photographer
Jon Gati
Facebook Friends 1361
Instagram Followers: 600

The Up and Comer 
Jared Wilson
Facebook Friends: 1388
Instagram Followers: 1568

The Tumblr Star
Jeff Sommerfield
Facebook Friends: 3210
Instagram Followers: 315

The Boy Next Door
Tyler Blair
Facebook Friends: 666
Instagram Followers: 1010

The Traveler
Joe Guerrero
Facebook Friends: Hidden
Instagram Followers: 100

The Smirk
Russell Neill
Facebook Friends: 1252
Instagram Followers: 922

The Hollywood Couple
Dean DeBlois and JD George
Facebook Friends: Hidden
Instagram Followers: 404 (JD)

Beef Wellington
Nick Robles
Facebook Friends: 1269
Instagram Followers: 999

What makes a bearlebrity? It's a phenomena born from the internet and the digital age. They are the men who everyone knows or knows of. In some cases you may not know their name but you may definitely recognize them from Tumblr and Instagram. The most common response to seeing their picture is usually, "Oh I've seen him before." As anyone can see by scrolling through the list good looks and sex appeal goes a long way. Sometimes a pretty face is all you need for attention. Obviously my list isn't an exact science but I tried to pick the guys who are well known throughout the country not just on their home turf. I also picked guys who will provoke a strong reaction. Forgettable, boring, and beige are not words you would ever use to describe them. Another factor is travel. Those who do not have a strong online presence may make up points from traveling often and simply meeting more people. For example, from what I can tell through Facebook, Joe Guerrero travels a lot for work. Therefore he's probably able to meet a lot more people then if he was stuck behind a desk in Boston. He's just one of those guys that everyone knows. (I assume he travels for work because he's always checking in at airports lol)

I won't go through everyone one by one but there are a couple important notes.  First, Tyler Blair is very deservedly on the list even though I'm not sure he identifies as a bear. Of everyone, he has the most cross-over potential. Also if you get a chance look up his adorable Youtube videos. Dean is the only guy who is a legitimate celebrity and I challenge you to go a day on Tumblr without seeing Jeff Sommerfield. Another key take away is that Instagram is playing and increasingly bigger role in social media. If you're not on Instagram... sign up. Second, I need to give Russell Neill a shout out because he was a big help in researching this post, especially when it came to finding them on Instagram.

*It should be mentioned that I don't know all these guys personally. I simply created the list as an observer in the community. I truly intended the list to be fun and no one should take it or me very seriously. So I hope JD, Dean, Russell, Jared, Tyler, Joe, Nick, Jeff and Jon have a get a good laugh and find this post flattering.

**Russell Neill also wanted it pointed out that he is taller the Jeff Sommerfield.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Social Amnesia

I started thinking about this post specifically with regard to sex. Have you ever had mediocre sex with someone and afterward you thought to yourself, "That was a waste of time and it's not happening again." Maybe he has a hot body but he also likes baby talk or he's one of those sexy muscle bears who's into man smells. It's one of those situations where you can fake interest for a night but once you shoot your load... it's over. Remember Janice on Friends? Then a funny thing happens, after a couple months he hits you up on Growlr and somehow sex amnesia kicks in and you forget why you swore off him the last time. Whatever the downside, there is usually an upside that helps wash away the bad memories. His hot bubble butt blurs your memory of his excessive popper usage. "I don't know why it's been so long.. he had a really great ass. I should invite him over." The amnesia is never permanent though. Once he's lying next to you trying (and failing) to get hard, all your memories flood back and you realize your mistake. "Oooooh yeah, now I remember..."

After thinking about sex amnesia a little bit more I realized the same concept can be applied to general social situations. Time and distance can blur that mental note you made. For example that friend you hid on Facebook because of his constant negativity. When when you see him out at a dinner party you start wondering why you distanced yourself from him in the first place? You even tell him, "We haven't talked in forever, we should hang out more." Good old amnesia is in full effect until the next day when he calls to tell you how his evening ended. Apparently he left the restaurant to 'go find food' (heavy air quote usage) with the excessively nose-itchy James. Finding food of course turned into a stop at an abandoned car wash were he got car head in exchange for making a purchase from James' coke dealer. Much like the limp-dicked popper queen from above all your memories come back. You vow to avoid him at all costs. That is until 3 months from now when you'll inevitably hear yourself saying, "Oh my god sit down, I haven't seen you in ages..."


Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Rupaul's Drag Race! Start Your Engine!!

The All Star season is here and I'm hooked! This season Ru has changed it up a smidge and put the queen in pairs. All your favorites are back so let's break it down queen by queen. 

Alexis Mateo- Alexis Mateo has a great personality and is fun to watch. She's the girl that is talented and will make it far but has no chance in hell of ever winning.

Chad Michaels- Oh Chad, you're scorned from loosing to Sharon Needles. (BTW Sharon, if you're reading this, you're still my favorite!) Back to Chad... you're professional and polished but I've decided I don't care. Like the judges always tell you, you're a bit to perfect. My advice: Get completely trashed on those Absolute cocktails and stumble onto the runway in a junkie whore homage to Courtney Love.Give them dirty angry slut realness. Also, I was kind of hoping you would get kicked off in the first round.

Jujubee- I can't say anything bad about Jujubee. In fact I know/knew her personally. She lived across the hall from me in college. (True story) Honestly, Jujubee is a well educated and a down to earth wonderful person. She's the most together Drag Queen I've ever met. Go Jujubee!!

Latriiiiiiiiiiice Royale- Ok now we're getting somewhere. Latrice has a real shot at winning. I would love to see her walk away with the well deserved title.

Manila Luzon- Manila is another one of my favorites. When it was down to her and Raja I had a hard time picking a favorite. I can't put my finger on it but there's just something I really like about her. She's going to go far and has a shot a the final title.

Meme Imfurst- Ugh. Honey, you're a mess. The question "Why is she even on the show?" was asked several times during the premier episode. Nina Flowers was right, "Someone has to go home first."

Nina Flowers- Ms. Flowers should have won season one. She was FIERCE!! If she can bring it as well as she did in season one, she may be unstoppable. In the first episode she didn't stand out as her normal self instead looking old with an awful runway wig. Hopefully she comes back strong!

Pandora Boxx- Unfortunately you got paired with Meme Imfurst so you were behind the eight ball to begin with. However, you gave up and gave in. Your misery was palpable to everyone. If you put on a smile and made the best of it I truly think you could have avoided elimination. BTW... why in the hell did you let Meme Lip Sync for both your lives?

Raven- I like Raven because she has style but with some edge. She has that 'not to perfect' quality that Chad Michaels is lacking. Also she could be a strong yet surprising contender for the win.

Shannel- I hate Shannel. Her costumes are too gaudy and over the top... and that's saying a lot on a Drag competition. Plus she thinks her shit don't stink. She needs to be taken down a peg and then sent home!

Tammie Brown- We didn't see much of Tammie Brown on her season because she was kicked off early. She seems strange and weird in a good way so far. We'll have to see if that turns really good or really bad.

Yara Sofia- I like Yara Sofia but I can't understand a word she says. I suspect she'll stick around for a while but like her partner Alexis, she has no chance of ever winning. 

Final Thoughts:

-Untucked is AMAZING and it may be better then the actual show.

-I hope one of the episodes brings back all the former winners as a panel of judges.

-Why does it seem like a win on Drag Race equals a ticket to oblivion? It seems like we only hear from the runners up? Raja occasionally pops up in that Absolute Ad but otherwise they don't get much airtime. I counting on Sharon Needles to kick that curse in the ass.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Slow and Steady

When I write a blog piece I try to be as honest and forth coming as possible. With that in mind, I thought this would be a good time to update you on my relationship status. When I first moved to Dallas I met a wonderful guy. Since then we've spent a lot of time together and he's become an important part of my life. What can I say, I'm a smitten kitten. There's one detail I should mention though. While we are going on dates, we're not officially dating yet. Don't worry it's not like the subject has been ignored, it's just better for us to take it slow and steady. I'll admit I'm a little scared of screwing things up because I have such a lack of dating experience and he's a little gun shy after a very long relationship ended. That's why easing into things works best for us.  It also just makes sense to me on a deeper level. I associate a deep bond with time. The biggest crushes I've had in the past have always been for guys I've known for a reasonable length of time. I do not believe in love at first site. Taking our time also gives me a chance to see myself in the 'boyfriend' role. It's not a switch that happens over night when you've been single as long as I have.

A lot of people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the slow and steady concept. When I explain it to them I get the same exact response: "Well as long as you're happy..."  Friends wouldn't be friends if they weren't looking out for me and I know my best interest is their number one priority. They are afraid I'm being strung along only to end in heartbreak. You don't have to worry, my eyes are as open as my heart. However please know that your concern means a lot to me and I'm blessed to have people who care so much about my happiness. I can't predict what will happen in the future but I know I'll survive and be happy.

The only problem that remains is should we be called Roey or Jussell?


Friday, October 19, 2012

Project Runway Season 10

Thursday night was the season 10 finale of Project Runway. There’s a lot to discuss. First things first, the judges chose Dmitry as the winner. I usually agree with the judges or at the very least can see there point of view. I couldn’t believe how much they loved his garments. Throughout the season Dmitry made well tailored clothes that got him to the final 4. During the critique for his final three looks (officially getting him to The Final Runway) the judges warned him that his looks could come across old. After he switched around some of his pieces the judges applauded him for making it look fresh and young. Young? Were we looking at the same models? The jacket with the fringe sleeves paired with draped baggy black pants. GAG! I thought most of his collection was horribly ugly. I did like his first look, the white dress with the cut-outs. However it was 2 sizes to big and didn’t fit the model. If you’re doing a dress with cut outs the dress should fit her like a glove. There is also an element of boring to Dmitry.
So Dmitry won and life goes on. Honestly we’ll never hear anything from him again as he fades into forgettable history. As for the other 3 designers, let’s go through them one by one. I felt bad for Christopher who was the front runner all season. He fell apart in the finale. I really enjoyed his print made from his mother’s xray and he had a lot of great pieces. I think he just got overwhelmed with the stress and made bad styling choices. I’m not sure if he had a winning collection but he had a collection that was at least good enough for runner up. Melissa was next with her rocker meets Macys looks. Her collection wasn’t ok… Many of the dresses were nice but safe. Nothing stood out except for that stupid white sheath dress that had the model hobbling down the runway like a Japanese geisha with bound feet. The red (leather?) dress had a punch of color but I hate asymmetrical hems on a one shoulder dress. Do one or the other, not both. I thought her show was the weakest of the bunch. My favorite moment of the episode was when Christopher (in his confessional interview) bitched about Melissa’s ‘blood orange’ dress, “Blood orange? Are you kidding me… (eye roll) It’s fucking red.”
That leaves Fabio who should have won. I am shocked that I liked his collection the best because from the entire season I can’t remember one notable piece he made. His collection was the most unique which was helped by the fact that the other three designers could’ve have combined their efforts into one big (dark) collection. I wanted the final two to be Christopher and Fabio with Fabio pulling out the win. At least the judges liked his collection as much as I did.
Final Thoughts:
Why don’t they have the finale live? Everyone knows they tape it weeks in advance with decoy collection to through off the audience. Side Note: I wish they would have a special ‘behind the scenes’ episode where they showed the fake collections.
A tip to future PR contestants. Have a plan. Going onto the show you can expect to have the following challenges: Men’s wear, the Real Women (plus size) challenge, the unconventional materials challenge, and the make your own pattern challenge. Every season they may tweak the details but you can have a general idea in your head. If your strength is gown making practice a killer pair of pants. Practice whatever your weakness is because there will be a whole challenge devoted to whatever it may be. Finally, plan and prepare your final collection. You may not have the money to buy fabric ahead of time but muslin is a cheap way to prepare possible outfits. Think of things to make ahead of time: patterns, sketches, jewelry, accessories etc.