Thursday, April 28, 2011

Old, New, Borrowed and Blue

Wedding: The word brings to mind broken budgets, overbearing families, and out dated traditions.

I should begin by saying that I generally don’t like weddings. (as you can probably tell) The meaning of the union is often lost in pomp and circumstance. Seating charts, food, center pieces, and invitations should not be the focus of the day. Prince William is getting married this Friday and it will no doubt be a huge gold encrusted event. But I give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure he doesn't have much say in the matter. But I'd be curious to know what he would choose if he really could have the wedding he wanted.

I've never been to a gay wedding but I wonder if they bring the stereotypical trappings of a straight affair? When you really think about it, should gay weddings mimic their straight counterparts anyway? We are not heterosexual and yet a lot of couples copy the traditions of straight culture. Much of the tradition and ceremony attached to a marrying comes from the deep roots of religious and heterosexual politics. For example: The bride is walked down the isle and “given away” to her new husband. I’m sure there’s a Women’s Studies major out there writing a thesis on the topic as we speak. I'm not saying large weddings are bad. I just think your wedding day should be a very personal expression of your love.

What is your perfect wedding? Formal and fancy or fun and familiar? I tend to lean toward the casual and relaxed attitude and dressed up formality has never appealed to me. There are two ideas I like best for my wedding:

1. The Wedding Surprise- Invite everyone you know and care about for a relaxed engagement party. Tell them gifts aren't necessary. After a bit of socializing surprise the guests with a wedding ceremony.

2. The Escape Wedding- Rather then deal with all the trappings of a large family wedding, run off to a tropical island and getting married in a very quiet and private ceremony.
 
Have your wedding your way and don't worry about what other people will think. ( Including me!) I only ask that you stay away from Calla Lilies and the Electric Slide. *Shudder*
 
 
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Monday, April 25, 2011

Write Your Own Joke


He won the trophy for drinking his poisonous punch the fastest the cult meeting.

Everyone needs a picture of the first time they were drunk.

At least he's got a big dick....

"Just make sure and only take the picture from the waist up."

Dear RuPaul, I would be perfect for the next season of Drag Race because...

Just because they make it, doesn't mean you should wear it

A rare picture of a scientologist's ceremonial dress.

WINNING!



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Friday, April 22, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

If I Ever Had A Tattoo...


Crayons are my current throw back obsession. One of the greatest pleasures in life is a new 64 count box of Crayola Crayons. I always hessitated to use the the first stick because I wanted to keep them new for as long as possbile. Crayons and coloring books are simple joys that instantly bring me back to childhood. I've decided if I ever get a tattoo it will be a 64 pack of crayolas.

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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Public Porn





I've noticed recently that there is a growing trend in pay for porn sites. Getting fucked in public is the next big thing. (and I'm all for it) Sites like OutinPublic.com and ThugHunter.com are all about plowing ass where ever and whenever they get the chance. But I'm curious? How do they film these videos. Obviously most of it is a set up, but where does the set up end? I guess I'm just curious how much of it is fake? Are the "customers" walking in the background just paid extras? I would think sites like this are pretty tight on cash so the budgets aren't big enought to pay that many people. But much like the "straight guy gone gay" sites, the overwhelming number of videos suggests that it all just a fantasy. Oh well. I should stop over thinking porn and enjoy the ride. Maybe I'll add this to my to do list for the summer. Anyone want to fuck me in public this summer?


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Helpful Tip #22

Back up your important information- Specifically everyone's phone number. I've never had my phone crash and die but in case I do I'm prepared. Originally my back up was a crude hand written paper with everyone name and cell phone number on it. Then I had a much better idea! I use Yahoo as my main email service and I took all of the phone numbers and inputed them into the contact section on Yahoo Mail. (Most email service offer this basic features) Yes, creating new contact information can be tedious and time consuming if you know a lot of people. A lazy version of this is to quickly type all the phone numbers in an email and send it to yourself. Save the email in a separate folder and you'll always have it when you need it. (I email myself important info all the time) While you're at it try and get the person's address too. The great thing about having it saved electronically is that you can access it from anywhere. If your cell phone ever dies or is stolen now you'll have a back up plan. We've all seen the Facebook updates: "I lost my phone and all my contacts. Text me your number."

 If you have a persons address it can also save you in a couple a key situations. For example, one of your close friends has a death in the family and you want to send a card or flowers. You've been to their house...but what's the street number and zip code? Nothing is worse then having to ask someone for their address just before sending them something.

P.S. If you need someone's address you can visit http://www.spokeo.com/. It's strangly accurate.

Friday, April 15, 2011

A Must Have!




Go out and buy these shorts now! These H&M shorts may look unassuming but they hide a secret. They are the best pairs of shorts I've owned in a long long time. I first stumbled on them by accident last year. I picked up a white pair on a whim and I wasn't even sure they'd fit me. When I tried them on for the first time I quickly discovered that they make your ass AND crotch look great. Trust me. For simple shorts... you will get noticed! I've always gotten rave reviews with them on. At $24.95 they won't break the bank either. If you're worried about size...H&M does run slim. However these shorts are more forgiving then you'd think.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Jennifer VS Britney


All of my iTunes music is stored on my desktop computer which is about 7 years old and take about 1/2 hour to fully start up. So when I got a new laptop I decided it was time to make the long needed switch over. Needless to say the process was a pain in the ass and I was up until about 2:30 am. Luckily it's done and now I can download easier and more often. Two of my first choices were Britney's new song is Till The World Ends and JLo's single is On The Floor. Both songs are good but when you watch the video's there is a clear winner. Although Jennifer Lopez was named People Magazine's Most Beautiful Woman, she can't compete with Spears. JLo's video isn't bad but most of her dance moves consist shacking her hair extensions. And what's with the feather collar? Good job Britney, you win round 1. As a side note: I hate when iTunes doesn't load the correct album cover or shows it as blank! At least an hour was spent just updating album covers.









Monday, April 11, 2011

And God Created Man...


I want your honest opinion. What was your first reaction to this picture?

A: Wow that's a fucking hot pic!
B: What the fuck? How do you get into that position?
C: That's a nice bathroom, but why do they have glass blocks?

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Friday, April 8, 2011

I HATE YOU!!

No I don't hate you but there are many other words I detest. The English language has an endless amount of words to choose from. Not all of them are gems. Here are some of the words I can't stand:

Couture- Over use has watered down and bleached it of all meaning.

Boo- Referring to a boyfriend. If you're not an urban school girl you should never use this word outside of Halloween.

Diva- After 70 Divas Live concerts the word is void of all meaning. Miley Cyrus is not a diva.

Bling- Here's a drinking game. Watch a show about a bride planning her wedding and take a shot every time she says Bling. You'll be drunk before she buys a dress.

Husbear-This is almost as bad a Boo. The only saving grace is that it's not as commonly used.

Panties- I asked Facebook what words people hated and this was the overwhelming winner. (or loser depending on how you look at it)

Moist- I don't mind moist but everyone else (including my mother) hates it.

As a side note: Rue and Shank are two of my favorite words.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Stop the Insanity!


Dear Natalie Protman,

Congratulations on winning the Oscar for your performance in Black Swan. It was much deserved. Your portrayal of Nina was both layered and moving. The reason for my letter is that I am concerned about your recent movie choices. Are you trying to kill your career or have you just sold out to the highest pay check? I understand you have bills to pay with a newborn coming, but that does not explain the current string of mush at the theater. For example, as you walked the red carpets of award season No Strings Attached was opening at the box office. A fuck buddy movie with Ashton Kutcher. Ok, I'll give you a pass on that one. They probably gave you buckets of money and at least it opened in first place. Now your current movie is Your Highness. A mid evil stoner comedy that doesn't even star Seth Rogan. Because whenever I watch funny stoner movies I always think to myself..."The only thing that could make this movie better is if it was set in the year 1500!" It doesn't end there. Upcoming in May is Thor. A CGI 'Greek warrior who god comes to earth to save the planet' epic fail of a film. Natalie when will the massacre end?!? Haven't we learned anything from Jamie Foxx? One Oscar doesn't ensure a successful career. 

Sincerely
Worried in West Hartford

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Save the Date

Spring is on our doorstep and Summer is just around the corner. Here's a list of (gay) events you can use to start planning. Most events are in the greater New England area, but you can visit www.bearguide.net or check facebook for more information.

Pride Parades and Festivals: Most of the bigger cities have weekend long celebrations but the dates listed are for the main parade and events.
Bear Pride Chicago May 26

Boston and Albany Pride June 11th

Providence Pride June 18th

NYC Pride June 26th

Toronto Pride July 2nd.

Connecticut Pride September 17th

Gay Days at Disney and TidalWave coincide the first weekend in June 3rd-5th in Orlando FL. Keep in mind to do the Disney events you'll need park passed which can be pricey.

BearWeek in Provincetown MA starts July 9th and goes for a whole week.

Souther Decadence is a gay Mardi Gras style party in New Orleans Labor Day (and my birthday) weekend. http://www.southerndecadence.net/

Reacurring Events

Bear Albany holds a great weekend every other month. The next weekend is May 20-22nd. Call 518-860-1500 to book your room. Two things to note: don't wait till the last minute because the hotel always sells out and there are 2 TownePlace Suites in Albany. You want the Downtown/Medical Center location on Holland Ave. (I'm planning on going in May)

CT Cruisers holds a Leather/Fetish Night on the second Saturday of every month at Tommy Restaurant in Middletown complete with demo's and a backroom. Cover is $7.00

The Alley in Boston has their monthly Underwear Party on the 1st Saturday of every month. Check out www.thealleybar.com for more info

Bear Providence has GRRRRSDays every Thursday at the Homestead in Providence with Beareoke.