My name is Joe and I'm standoffish.
I've come to realize recently that my one great talents in life is being cold and off putting. The skill comes in handy when I'm trying to avoid chatting with an unwanted bar patron. What I didn't realize is that I also do it to friends I know and love. To give some background: In my social circle people give each other a polite kiss when they meet and say hello. A friend was telling a story about how we was trying to dodge a man with especially fishy puckered lips. As he put it "so I did the Joe Cavanaugh." I asked quizzically, what's that? He pointed out that whenever I say hello I avoid kissing someone's lips by turning my cheek in the European style. When I mentioned it to other people, everyone agreed and knew exactly what I was talking about. Apparently everyone else had noticed it except me. One guy even said he was happy to hear that it wasn't a personal issue with him.
Since then I've thought a lot about it. The most important point is that it's totally unconscious. I don't really give it any thought. However on a side note, the whole kissing practice is a bit bizarre. I tend to agree with Julia Roberts in Pretty Women. Kissing is very personal. In addition if I want to kiss you... I'm going to KISS you. Either way I come off as standoffish from the very first impression without even realizing it. I'm not sure if I'm surprised or not... but at this point I'll just add it to the list.
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I think I do the same thing, although no one has ever pointed it out to me. I wouldn't do a hug OR a kiss with someone unless they initiated it first, and even then I'd do it so as to not be rude. Of course, it always depends on who it is. If I don't want to kiss someone, I'll make it look like I missed the opportunity to kiss them while I hug them really fast, kiss them on the cheek instead. It's an art form.
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