Living (Room) the Dream

I love this living room. If I ever won the lotto I would use this picture as my jumping off point for the whole house. My favorite details are the deep leather sofa, brick wall and of course the metal trunk coffee table. That's not to say I wouldn't change a few things. First I would switch out the leather chair for one that was a bit bigger and cozier. The current one looks cheap because of the pin detail around the base. Second I would rip out that tacky track light. (Gag) Last and probably most important I would fill in the whole room with accents of color. I love color so some more vibrant knick knacks on the back shelf and bright throw pillows would make it feel like home. I don't like the long standing trend that says sophisticated style = monochromatic. 

Dress Me Up: Alexander McQueen

All items Alexander McQueen:
Tee Shirt $330, Sunglasses $237, Sweater $1225, Bag $1795, Pants $895, Belt $475, Shoes $895, Socks $80.

Total look: $5923

visit SSense.com and AlexanderMcQueen.com

Who Will He Be: An Update

Back in January of 2012 I posted this article that discussed my predictions and expectations around a then unknown boyfriend. I even had a wish list of sorts detailing some of the characteristics I wanted in a potential partner. At the time I had been single for many years and was curious as to who I would ultimately end up with. My 2012 expectations were:

 
One of the things I consciously left  out of the original article was that for a long time I wasn't sure I would ever meet a special someone. Deep down I truly felt that most likely I would spend my life alone. I left that out of the original post because it sounds more mellow dramatic than I intended but truth be told that was my reality. Little did I know what the next 6 months had in store for me.

As you've already figured out it was only a couple months later that I met Russ. Cut to this past weekend when he bought a harmonica and spent time trying to learn how to play it. After mastering Mary Had A Little Lamb he sent me a video of his triumph. Yesterday we were having a lazy afternoon and he mentioned how he had to take several videos before he could get through the song successfully. As he showed me the lengthy blooper reel he couldn't stop laughing at himself. It was a genuine and happy belly laugh that I loved. In that moment I thought of that old post because I specifically remembered saying that a sense of humor was not important to me. I'll be the first to admit I was wrong. I WAS WRONG! Humor is one of the things that I love most about Russ. It's a talent that comes very natural to him and it always warms my heart. I never expected the thing I thought I didn't want would turn into the thing I couldn't live without.

So without further adieu I present Mary Had A Little Lamb:

Joe's Spank Me Time

In honor of Sunday Football...

16 Pugs Just Doing the Best They Can

The struggle is real.

1. "Do I really have to get up and go to work?"

2. "When I get out of the shower I must resist the urge to get back into bed."

3. "Of course I wasn't looking at Tumlr at work..."

4. "Finally, number 30 will work as a profile picture."

5. "A sunny day on the boat means I can fart as much as I want."

6. "I've never eaten so much at once... Hey is that pumpkin pie?"

7. "Next year we are definitely getting a fake tree."

8. "I just bought a 70 inch television for $100 and I only had to stab 4 people to get it."

 9. "Sunday Funday!"

10. "I have to work tomorrow... Ok I'll just have one drink."

11. "I can't drink 12 beers like I used to."

12. "You mean I just packed all this up and now I have to unpack in all tomorrow across town?!"

13. "One day I hope I can afford furniture that I don't have to put together."

14. "A good walk an a sunny fall day."

15. "I want to kill who ever invented walking. Seriously, can we call a cab home."

16. "I don't need a sleeping pill, just put on ESPN."

All photos courtesy of @PugsofInstagram on Instagram

What Type of Bear Are You?

Are you a bear? Why do you consider yourself a bear? What does being a bear mean? There are many different answers to all of these questions. To help you formulate your answer I've decided to include and introductory guide to the most common species of bears out in the world. This will also help any of my non bear readers understand our culture a little better. While this list is just includes the most common of common there are many other kinds out there.

1. Wellington Bears- Wellington refers to Beef Wellington a dish of meat wrapped in dough. They are obsessed with the gym, protein shakes, and testosterone. To reward themselves after a rigorous gym routine they stop at Chipotle for an extra-large dinner and maybe an large Frosty for dessert at Wendys. They have the work out routine of a pro athlete and the eating habits of a dieter on cheat day. These beefy bears can easily be spotted on Growlr because their private pics are sure to include several locker room selfies.
Hashtag: BeastMode.

2. OOTW Bears- Probably the most common bear that everyone knows. OOTW obviously refers to 1987 sitcom Out Of This World. These bears run around pretending to stop and start time with their hands all the while wishing their dad would talk to them from a crystal block. The OOTW A-List is for bears whose father is actually named Troy.
Hastag: SwingingOnAStar

3. Buddha Bears- These are the guys who are in the middle of the Bear Chub venn diagram. You'll also find them at Chipotle but their gym membership expired a long time ago. Look for shirtless pics on Tuesday and love songs about the McRib. In this world a skinny bitch is anyone who weighs under 280lbs.
Hastage: NomNomNom

4. Orange Is The New Bears- Some guys do not discover their true bear identity until they're locked up behind bars. Months without a women and non stop weight lifting eventually penetrates even the tightest of closets. They prefer sex in the shower and use Ivory soap as lube. Christopher Melony is their beloved icon.
Hashtag: MakeMeYourBeecher

5. Chaser Me Bears- Not every bear likes other bears. These bears chase the chasers. They may like the attention they get from other bears but it's the smooth and skinny chasers that start their engines. They use Growlr out of necessity but Grindr is their first love. Asian or Latino chasers to the front of the line.
Hashtag: RiceQueen

Daddy Bears- People outside the bear community might not believe how popular Daddies are in our world. But as we all know there are so many young guys into the baby diaper fetish and they're are in desperate need of daddy to come and burp them. Trade in your lube and condoms for powder and baby wipes.
Hashtag: GoogooGaga

Lilith Bears- The tradition of the singer songwriter is alive and well with these husky homos. Some have even been known to pass for butch lesbian bikers at Lilith fair. Although they sing and play the acoustic guitar don't get too excited because they won't serenade you in your living room like you want them to.  Also there's a large overlap with the Flinstoner Bears. 
Hashtag: ArmsOfAnAngel

BASIC Bears- BASIC: Bears Against Sia's Irritating Chandelier. They really hate the Sia song Chandelier. Not to be confused with BASIK Bears who are Bears Against Sia in Karaoke. BASIK Bears like Chandelier but believe is should never be sung at karaoke. 
Hashtag: BASICBITCH

Flintstoner Bears- They are bears of all ages who all smoke A LOT of weed. Other favorite activities include drinking beer, naked swimming, and anything they can do while being completely high as a kite. Listen for intense conversations about moving to Colorado and California's vapor weed industry.
Hashtag: PeaceRally

Kodak Bears- If you haven't noticed photography has overtaken DJing as the number one bear hobby. Finding a bear photographer is as easy as finding a bear offering massages on Growlr. With the legalization of gay marriage growing, bear couples never need to hire a photographer for their wedding because they always have a "friend who is a photographer." Listen for intense debates about how Instagram is ruining photography. 
Hashtag: PicsbyBears

Oscar Bears- In the tradition of Oscar the Grouch these bears hate everything. Literally everything. If and when the world ends, look for Facebook posts such as "Great now my newsfeed is going to be full of all this end of world nonsense."
Hashtag: StupidPeopleHaveFeelings

Nazi Bears- These men believe that grammar should be absolutely perfect all the time and anyone who doesn't comply should be eradicated. Their dream world is one where all dyslexics are quarantined along with anyone who miss uses Who and Whom. No need to search for these nazis because they will be the first to make themselves known after any spelling mistake.
Hashtag: ThereTheirThey're

Bare Back Bears- This brotherhood believes that all men should be free to bare their back hair without shame at the beach. They want men to be able to play without the restrictions like rubber wet suites. Back Hair is beautiful. Their slogan is "Real men: Hairy and Raw"
Hashtag: BBBH

Santa Bears- Like so many others, these bears fantasize about having sex with Santa. The bushy white beard, black books, and bouncing belly is their ultimate fap fantasy. They can often be found childless standing in line at the mall waiting to get their picture taken. 
Hashtag: TheRealMrsClause

Crazy Good

Crazy In Love was Beyonce's first single as a solo artist after leaving Destiny's Child. It's one of those songs that is impossible not to shake your booty to. You'll find even the most stoic conservative bouncing his head when it comes on. It instantly puts you in a better mood. Guess what, if you're drunk at a bar and Crazy In Love comes on you are getting your sloppy ass to the dance floor no matter what. While I'm not a diehard Bee Hive member I've got to give the Queen B credit for a job well done. This song is still as good as it was back in 2003. Keep an eye out for a Crazy In Love remake for the new 50 Shades of Grey movie. The redo is still Beyonce but done in a haunting Lana Del Rey style.