What's the newest trend in the gay community? The second boyfriend! Now that we have marriage in New York, the gay trend setters have decided they want more. More I tell you! It's a controversial topic in the straight world, but gay men have figured out that they won't find fulfillment from just one person. Open relationships have been around since the beginning of time, but the new development is a permanent third. Polyamory, most common in hippy commune communities and the Mormons religion, is starting to infiltrate queer society. Currently I know 5 couples that have brought a permanent 3rd into their relationship. From what I can tell the arrangements can vary from triad to triad. Some are and equal partnership amongst all three members and some are situations where one person has two boyfriends. But inquiring minds want to know... with a triad is double penetration required? (I'll do some more private investigating on that matter) While the site of three gay men together elicits gossip and glares, everyone involved seems to be happy from what I can tell. If you want to get on board with this trend, here are some suggestions to finding your second soul mate:
-You already have a partner to fall back on, so for boyfriend #2 try something new. Take inspiration from the Paris runways and go ethnic. Asians are always sleek and sophisticated and Brazilians are notoriously good at Jenga.
-Look far and wide. Over half of the triads I know have a member who are or were out of state. Why not plan ahead and snag a man in your favorite vacation destination such as Hawaii. That way you'll have a free place to stay next year.
-Guys named Trevor are the best gardners while men named Butch are the best in bed. Choose accordingly.
I sollute the gay pioneers of love and sex. One day Facebook will recognize your union(s) and allow multiple relationship status picks.
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To answer the question... Not usually, but I can only speak from personal experience on that one. "Sleeping" arrangements - particularly when one guy is "with" two or more guys who are not "with" each other - can get complicated very quickly.
ReplyDeleteAlso worth noting: while they're relatively stable and probably more common, triads are not the only poly arrangement. Some people end up with long, complicated webs of lovers and metamours, and even hierarchies of who's "primary," "secondary," "tertiary," etc.
As a friend of mine once said, "You know you have too many partners at once if you need a spreadsheet to keep track."