I’m a slut. and baring all the negative connotations, it’s the best word I can use to describe myself sexually. However I wonder if my own comfort level with sex is a turn off? I’d like to think it has more to do with who a person is. But maybe there is an unconscious difference I am unaware of. The only difference I notice is that I get taken for granted sometimes. I’m usually not a first round pick. I like to think of my role as a solid Plan B. All was cool until a friend of mine described his new crush by saying:
“He’s untainted and innocent. And in the end, isn’t that what we all want?”
This got me thinking. I don't agree but I wonder if it’s true for everyone else. Do you find innocence attractive? Or a better question is: When you met your partner, was he more or less sexually experienced then you? I’m curious to hear anyones thoughts.
My first boyfriend, who I was with for a little over 4 years, was highly experienced when it came to sex. When we first started hanging out, I wasn't completely sure I was gay. SO, I was ultra innocent, and vulnerable. I'm sure that appealed to him. However, I do know that he certainly appreciated more experienced men. Once we decided to have an open relationship, I thought it necessary to play "catch up," but never really got around to it. I've never been as comfortable as I'd like to be with sex unless I know the guy well, we are friends, or if it's a significant other, or if I've had enough to drink (which may or may not very much), or, I'm really very horny.
ReplyDeleteMy new boyfriend is also a lot more experienced than I with the sex thing. I also still feel the need to play catch up, and am free to do so, but it still isn't as comfortable for me. I know that I don't need to - I just feel like I'm missing out sometimes.
To answer the question that was asked: Just about every sexual partner I've had, the current ones included, have been more sexually experienced than I am - which, in relationships of uneven experience, must be the case about 50% of the time.
ReplyDeleteDo I find innocence attractive? I guess that depends on how you define innocence. I want someone who's "untainted and innocent," but I also want someone who's kind of a slut.
The way I look at it is that having sex doesn't "taint" someone, and having a great deal of frequently kinky and varied sex with a large number of diverse partners under a host of different doesn't necessarily make someone less "innocent." The word "innocence" implies a lack of wrongdoing, and to consider a someone to have lost his innocence through sex is to believe that sex (or at least "too much" of it) is somehow wrong. I don't believe that.
If by "innocent," you mean "sexually inexperienced," then no. The only fun there to be had there is the process of watching him shed that innocence. And that can be fun - it's great to be there and be a part of things when someone discovers something about himself, and to explore things together. But even that doesn't require inexperience, simply a willingness to try new things.