Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Greatest Stories Ever Told

The next great story takes place in Disney. It was Gay Days 2006. Gay Days, if you don't know, is an annual event when homos descend on Orlando Florida to party while showing their pride. It was my first trip back to Disney as an adult. I was lucky to have 13 friends along for the ride. There were many memorable moments during that trip but one in particular stands out:

At the time Disney World still had Pleasure Island which was a section of the Downtown Disney devoted to adult interests like shopping, bars and clubs. Pleasure Island has since closed down, but at the time it was a great time. We all went together but slowly disbursed as differing levels of intoxication took hold. Everyone found their way back to the room except for Kenny. (names have been changed to protect the guilty) He was partying like it was 1999 and when it was time to go home he realized that he didn't know which bus to get on. Somehow Kenny couldn't decode the puzzleof the busses and he ended up getting on the wrong bus. Although no one is at their best drunk at 2am. He didn't realized his mistake until after several stops when the bus was done with it's route for the night. Drunk, yet polite, Kenny went up to the driver and asked if he could make a special stop at the Boardwalk. The bus rest of the conversation reads like vintage 80's porn dialogue:

Kenny- Can you bring me back to the Boardwalk hotel?

Bus Driver- You're here for that gay event aren't you?

Kenny- Yes. I'll do anything if you can help me out.

Bus Driver- Anything? (he says as he unzips his fly)

Yes, Kenny ended up blowing a bus driver on a Disney bus on the side of a Disney Park road.

First, who talks like that? Second it's like the begining of a porn scene. One of those situations that never happen in real life. The irony if the whole situation is that the Disney buses are all free. He sucked dick for a free ride home on a bus that was already free. Not to mention it's Disney World! The employees are brainwashed into customer service perfection. Do you honestly believe he would be left alone on the side of the road to walk home?  I doubt it. The cherry on top of this delicious story. When asked the next day if the bus driver was at least cute, Kenny replied honestly "No, not really."

Love It!

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