Dominic The Donkey

Until I moved to Texas I had never heard of Dominic the Donkey. If you are unfamiliar it is apparently a well know Christmas. It also hold the title as the most bizarre Christmas song on earth. At least the guy in the video is cute.

Why Do You Care What I Think?

I'm fantastic. I'm a perfect person and generally right about everything. Style, sass, and big  balls have made the envy of everyone who knows me. Because I'm so wonderful I can sometimes judge people too quickly. It's like an instinctual reflex that's ingrained in my DNA. I can't help it. What are us perfect people to do?! People often get defensive and want to know what gives me the right to judge anyone. Instead of giving them references to prove my perfection, I simply ask "Why do you care what I think of you?"

If you haven't realized yet that my claims of perfection are a joke then guess what... I'm judging you. In all seriousness though, why do you care what I think? Does my judgment have any affect on your daily life?  No. I'm the textbook definition of a nobody. Granted I truly think I'm fantastic but I'm an otherwise boringly average husky homo with a flair for dramatic opinions. What I rant and rave about is usually meaningless in the big picture. The only opinion's that should matter are from your close friends/loved ones and the people who have control over your job. So unless they're fucking you or firing you, you shouldn't lose sleep over their opinions. I always stand behind my opinions but the only thing they should give you is some mild entertainment while you're on the toilet.

Although I'm a nobody I subscribe to the idea that if I'm going to say it, I'm at least going to say it like I mean it. Conviction is the very important when giving an opinion. However just because I say something with conviction doesn't mean I'm not talking out of my ass. I write this blog for entertainment and in no way should you ever take anything I say too seriously. I've also learned over the years that typing something on a website adds a lot of false weight to it. Because it's in print there tends to be a false assumption of truth and importance. For example it always makes me laugh when celebrities get upset over what internet trolls say about them. Take Mariah Carey, she's gotten to the very top of her field with decades of proven success. She's ridiculously wealthy and never needs to work another day in her life. Yet she still cares about what the nameless faceless Twitter accounts say about her. Why the hell does she care? Shake it off Mariah.

As I said above, the opinions of your close friends should matter. Just because someone is a Facebook friend doesn't make them a close friends. A good way to tell the difference is how much you communicate with that person outside of social media. Of my many friends I only a handful of close friends and only one best friend. That handful are the people and opinions I care about because they care about me. You should feel the same way. Focus on the people who actually matter in your life and everyone else is simple amusement. I wish I could give people the gift of confidence so they would trust their instincts and choices. Always put other people's opinions into perspective. I mean seriously, do you want to become Mariah Carey?

In conclusion, I will continue to judge and openly and honestly. If that offends you I ask you to stop and ask yourself that ever important question "Why do I care what he thinks?"

Hammacher Schlemmer Gifts for the Holidays

visit Hammacher Schlemmer for details

Shirtless Movie Review: Birdman

En Vogue

The video quality is poor but the song still gets be boppin'

Murphy Brown

Murphy Brown was such a good show. I need to start DVRing the reruns.

He's An A-List Bear

Like many others my high school was full of cliques. There were the cheerleaders and the jocks who were the stereotypical popular crowd. Popular mostly because they fit the textbook mold and less because they were well liked or adored. Then there was the stereotypical nerds and losers. The interesting thing was that the nerds chose that label themselves as a sort of badge of honor. Much like Janis and Damian they were proud not to be a part of the plastics. I was sort of a floater around school and didn't really identify with one main crowd but I did know people at both ends of the spectrum. I would sit in English class and hear all the goings on amongst the nerds. Then off to History where I'd get filled in with all the popular crowd drama. Without fail the popular kid stories were always phenomenally boring. Basically every weekend they would go hang out in the parking lot of McDonalds (or Friendly's) and get drunk. The only interesting bits were when one of the cheerleaders would get arrested for shoplifting at the mall. On the flip side, the nerds had more stories than Hemingway. One of my favorite stories was how one of the more 'uniquely pretty' girls was dating her boss as work. Not only was her boss married but his wife was currently dying of cancer.  I would listen to all their escapades with bewildered amusement. As for the popular crowd, I would often have to fake interest in their mundane lives. 

As I've grown up the cliques of high school have never gone away. Not because life is like high school but because high school is like life. Much the same way the notion of a bear A-list is always whispered and gossiped about as being atop the exclusive gay hierarchy. As in high school I have the benefit of floating amongst many different types of bears, some of who would even be pointed at as A-listers. Trust me when I tell you the honest truth that there is no such thing as an A-list bear. Instead I've come to realize there are some social realities at play which often get confused with an A-list. 

The A-listed is often labeled such by people who feel they are not apart of it. The next time you see a bear and think he's not talking to you because he's too A-list remember a very important detail: He might just be shallow and boring. If you did start up a conversation with that "A-list" bear I bet you'd discover that no only did you have absolutely nothing in common but that he's actually incredibly dull. Unfortunately guys who won the gene pool lottery usually are never forced to develop any sort of personality. Their looks get them anywhere they need to go. The rest of us have had to develop wit, kindness, humor, and every other social skill in order to survive. So while it's true that some pretty people only hang out with other pretty people it's because their friendship is bonded by those shallow boring personalities. If you doubt anything I'm saying I want to picture in your mind the hottest most A-list bear you can think of. Let me guess, the bear you're thinking of tends to be very quiet and shy in person and if he comes out of his shell it's only online. Guess what it's not that he's too shy it's that he's so beige that he literally has nothing to say. He only knows how to communicate by being cute or wearing tight shirts. While those bears are a home run at a bar, they're a little awkward and pathetic at brunch then next morning when you actually try and hold a conversation with them. Much like the popular kids in my high school, the supposed A-list is often drab and unexciting in reality. It's a phenomena that is true the world over and not exclusive to bears. In college I remember going to a party with the extremely rich and privileged gays of Amherst college. While their dorms were nicer than my parents house, the actual party was incredibly boring. Everyone was just posing and cared more about how they looked than genuine conversation. Trust me and choose the D list party with bears who don't give shit because I guarantee it's going to be much more fun.

Remember, the next time you think a guy isn't talking to you because he's an A-list snob take a moment and feel bad for him because he's probably just a boring bear blessed with a pretty face.

P.S. The beauty of this post is that no one can claim to be offended because that would imply they thought of themselves as A-list and that's embarrassing enough.