2 Years Ago Today

I had to share this post a friend of mine made to commemorate my two year anniversary of moving to Dallas:

Now, this is the story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute, just sit on this phallus

I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Dallas

In West Connecticut, born and raised

On the playground is where I spent most of my days

Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool

And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school

When a couple of guys who were up to no good

Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood

I got in one little fight and my mom got callous

And said, "You're movin' with your aunty and uncle in Dallas"

I begged and pleaded with her the other day

But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way

She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket

I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it!"

First class, yo this is bad

Drinkin' orange juice out of a champagne glass

Is this what the people of Dallas are livin' like

Hmmm, this might be alright

Thank you Andy! 

The 5 Stages of the Secret App Told by Leslie Knope

 

Secret is a new app where you share secrets completely anonymously. 

Curiosity: 
You keep hearing about this app Secret and decide to check out what all the ruckus is about.

Obsession:
You read as many secrets as you can. There is never enough!









Investigation:
When a shocking secret is labeled as 'friends' you spend the afternoon trying to figure out who it is.












Annoyance:
Total anonymity isn't conducive to positive and supportive comments.









Closure:
After reading 50 secrets that all say something about wanting to quite work and run away, you realize the novelty has worn off. It's just the same old shit on the internet packaged in a different way. 

#MapGeek

Most Selective Colleges by state

Top 10 Most Selective States
∙ Pennsylvania – Curtis Institute of Music – 5%
∙ Massachusetts – Harvard University – 6%
∙ California – Stanford University – 6%
∙ Connecticut – Yale University – 7%
∙ Maryland – United States Naval Academy – 7%
∙ New Jersey – Princeton University – 7%
∙ New York – The Juilliard School – 7%
∙ Illinois – University of Chicago – 9%
∙ Rhode Island – Brown University – 9%
∙ New Hampshire – Dartmouth University – 10%

 US Map by region

 How many Rhode Islands fit in each state

There is more money inside the green circle then outside of it.

How Much People Want to Leave Their Home State

visit http://auntannsglobe.tumblr.com/ and http://twistedsifter.com/ for more fun maps

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

I've started watched John Oliver's new HBO show Last Week Tonight and I give it two thumbs enthusiastically up. It feels like a fresher version of the Daily Show. This story about GM is a perfect example. Informative and funny.

Last Week Tonight airs on HBO on Sunday nights. (Find a friend with an HBO GO account)

Joe's Spank Me Time

An Open Letter To Myself In 10 Years

Good Afternoon,

Hello future me. Hopefully you’re reading this from the home you purchased in the Dallas suburbs. I’m picturing a lounge chair on a covered porch or back patio. It's 2024 and I'm sure Jay Z and Beyonce have been divorced for several years and the Real Housewives' movie probably won the Oscar for Best Reality film at last years ceremony. I am curious though, did they ever find a suitable vehicle for Ellen Cleghorne?

The point of this letter is to help guide you as you grow older and to make sure you avoid the common pitfalls of old age. Don’t get caught in common trapping of old age where you dismiss new ideas and innovations. No the music of your generation wasn't any better then the new music. It may feel like a burden to get used to a new phone, tablet or computer operating system but in the long run resisting new technology only harms yourself. You don't get extra point for still using an iPhone 7. Societies never de-industrializes and therefore technology will always continue to evolve. Embrace it. Change is what makes life possible.

By now you are entering your daddy phase of adulthood. This is what you've been waiting for. Finally you are growing into your looks. There are no doubt a whole crop of young cubs eager to get a piece of your salt and pepper goodness. Don’t be too hard on the young cubs and show them some love. They are navigating their way through life and maturity just like you did once. Keep in mind you were just as naive and raw at that age. Also consider that you probably think you’ve learned all of life’s lessons by now but if fact there is still a mountain of wisdom you have yet to acquire. I bet by age 60, you’ll look back at your 40’s and think how young and clueless you were.

At this point you've been with Russ for close to 12 years. He’s probably napping in the other room right now as you ready this. As a 32 year old in the past, I don't know what a 12 year relationship looks or feels like but I bet that any relationship takes constant effort. Avoid taking him for granted like so many other couples you see around you. Remember why you first fell in love with him in the first place. Although no one is perfect, he’s the best man you ever met and more importantly he’s the best man for you. Maybe go out and surprise him by getting some Lindt peanut butter truffles. 

Other general pieces of timeless advice:

-Hot and Crazy are better friends than Oprah and Gale.

-Anyone who uses "everything comes back in fashion again" is just making an excuse for being cheap.

-Overcast sun provides great lighting for selfies. Brightness without the glare.

-Eat more vegetables

-Get in the habit of flossing

-You should really start to work out. You're too young for saggy old man ass but it's not far away. Tone  your glutes. Trust me, you'll thank me later.


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In case you missed it...

Pure Awesomeness!