An Open Letter to Madonna

Dear Madonna,

This year marks the 30th anniversary of your first (self titled) album and your appearance at the punk themed Met Gala on Monday inspired this letter. First let me say that I'm a huge fan. Huge. You're one of the few performers who can truly be called an icon. When you hit the red carpet in New York I loved every inch of your look. Now normally in my open letters this would be the part where the tone got increasingly negative. However that's not the case this time. This marks the first time I've written an open letter to someone for praise and admiration.

You may be wondering after all these years why I am writing you. Why now? Really I just wanted to say keep up the good work. You have reached a level of success that can only be compared to a small handful of musicians many of whom are either dead (Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson) or retired. You are in uncharted territory for a female performer. After a career spanning 3 decades you managed to have the highest ratings for a Superbowl halftime show ever. Granted you may not be as relevant to a 14 year old as Rihanna, but Rihanna wouldn't exist with out you. Britney Spears tried to follow in your foot steps but crumbled under the pressure. You're level of sanity and pose is rare and commendable.

Lets get back to your look at the punk themed Met Gala. A Tartan plaid blazer embellished with gold studs? Glam Punk Realness! Straight black hair in a classic bob? FIERCE! Ripped fishnets and pink pumps? Shante you stay! You are redefining who a 54 year old women should be. I just have one favor to ask? DON'T FUCK IT UP! Please resist any urge to be a reality show judge. I'm sure American Idol would throw buckets of money at you but the last thing you need is to get into cat fights with Nicki Minaj. Reality TV cheapens a celebrity. Yes most are cheap to begin with so there's no compromise but you have standards. So keep up they good twerk.


Sincerely Yours


The Gay Gasp