Show Tune Tuesday

Russ turned me on to this song from the upcoming Annie remake. I think it's a perfect blend of a Broadway tune and a modern radio hit. Also great job getting Sia who is super hot coming off her mega hit Chandelier.

Hot Homo

This song has been my jam at work all week long. The video is nothing special but song is great.

The Gay Gasp Personality Test

By now most of us have come across the Myers Briggs Type Indicator at some point or another. The personality test has been used by everyone from psychologists to employers to determine how you make decisions and how you view the world. In case you're not familiar with it, the test sums up your personality into four basic categories such as introvert, sensing, thinking, judging (ISTJ). That's all well and good but in general it's pretty useless in everyday social situations. There needs to be a better way to categorize the things that really matter in our daily lives. With that in mind, I bring you the Gay Gasp Personality Test. It breaks down the fundamentally unchangeable aspects of our lives into four neat categories.

X Rated < Pictures > G Rated

Delete < Emails > Keeper

Snooze < Alarms > Wake up

Zipper < Urinals > Unbutton

Category One- Pictures

If I were to look through all the photos on your phone, how many naked or X-rated pictures would I find? Some guys are natural exhibitionists and take a naked selfie whenever possible while men on the other side of the dime would never even think to get out their camera while jerking off. If your phone is mostly full of pictures of scenic landscapes and fancy meals then you definitely fit into the G-Rated category. If all of your private Growlr pics could be shared to Facebook without worry then that also makes you a G-Rated person. On the flip side if you've posted naked pictures and even an occasional video across any one of the many social media platforms then you're definitely an X-Rated person. (I know most guys have at least one standard dick pic they use for online flirting but that doesn't count) It should also be mentioned that if your thinking to yourself, "But what about if you have a couple naked pics that you share but they're in a special folder that's locked and blah blah blah." If you need to ask any clarifying questions, then most likely you're a G-Rated person.
   
_____ X-Rated (X)- Naked pictures less than 6 months old, majority of your cell phone is x-rated shots and videos which may also be posted to Mobli, Tumblr, Xtube etc.
_____G-Rated (G)- Most of your cell phone pictures are family friendly, Growlr locked photos are all clothed and Facebook appropriate. No naked pictures of yourself beyond one dick or ass shot.

Category Two- Email

I used to live with my sister back in Connecticut. While living there we got talking one evening and she mentioned that she have several hundred unread emails in her inbox. Hundreds and hundreds on unread emails that she has never bothered to deal with. At first I thought it was a idiosyncrasy specific to her. Since then I've come to realize that she was one of many people who keep unread emails in their inbox by the hundreds and thousands. Every once and a while I'll notice a friend's phone and the number on notification for new emails is so large that it's not actually visible.

_____Delete (D)- Emails are read, sorted or deleted in a timely manner. The notification icon for new emails is the equivalent to a smoke alarms. It needs to be dealt with as quickly as possible.
_____Keeper (K)- You feel no pressure to attend to every new email that comes in. You pay absolutely no attention to the new email notification icon you can't remember a time it was less than 1,000.

Category Three- Alarm

This is pretty simple. How much do you hit the snooze button in morning? If you're answer is zero to one time, you're in the Wake Up category. If your answer is two, three, four or more time then it pretty obvious you're in the Snooze category. Also, if you have more than one alarm that you hit snooze on once, that also puts you in the Snooze category.

_____Snooze (S)- You have one or several alarms that are snoozed over and over again. If you get out of bed at 7am, the first alarms probably went off around 5:30. Also you clocks are probably set 10 or 20 minutes fast as an additional aid.
_____Wake Up (W)- You have a set time to wake and you get out of bed at that time. You may hit the snooze button once in a while but it's on rare occasion.


Category Four- At the Urinal

I first noticed this phenomena when I worked in an office for the first time. When I went to the urinal to piss I couldn't help but see and hear men beside me undoing their belt and pants. At first I thought it might just be one or two odd ducks but the more I paid attention the more I noticed that it was a somewhat common practice. I have always just unzipped my fly and popped my dick out to pee. Unbeknownst to me there was an entire group of guys who unbuckle and unbutton their pants when they stand up to piss. I still can't figure out how they hold their pants up while aiming their dicks. 

_____Zipper (Z)- You unzip, dick comes out, shake shake, zip it up.
_____Unbutton (U)- Your belt is unbuckled, pants are unbuttoned and held up as your urinate. 




Which type are you? For the records, I'm a XDWZ.



For more information on the Myers Briggs Test visit their website

Kill the 80's, Long Live the 90's

I remember when my cousin had an 80s Halloween party back when I was in college. It was 2002 and the idea was fun and fresh. Now that 12 years has gone by I think it's time to retire the 80's theme party. It's an idea that's been done to death. We've all gone to an 80's party more than once and dressed in leg warmers and off the shoulder sweat shirts. It's a fun concept that has become cliche and overused. In fact it seems to be the go to decade. A prom theme always manages to becomes an 80's prom theme. There are plenty of other decades to reference like the disco 70's, the hippie 60's, the flapper 20's as well as one very wonderful decade just after the 80's. I introduce to you the 90's party. 

I've brought up this idea to people and I get a similar reaction, "Nothing stands out about the 90's?!" I beg to differ. I think, in part through all the parties, that the 80's is just very well branded. The 90's just needs a PR burst to get it's image out there and remind people of all the wonderful trends that floated through the decade. If the 90's needs some PR then consider me Edina Monsoon.   

Any good introduction to the 90's starts with Madonna. She began the decade Voguing and ended it as Evita with many stops along the way. Scroll through this walk down memory lane and imagine all the wonderful costume ideas you can create for when someone finally invites you to a 90's party.

1990

1992

1991

1993

1994

1997

1995

1996

1998

1999

Grunge

Sick of the over styled plastic world of the 80's, grunge rockers like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden ushered in a new wave of anti-celebrity stars. Doc Martens, plaid everything, untucked, unwashed, over-sized, dark hair and light skin. Your attitude was angst and indifferent and all you wanted to do was move to Seattle.

 Drug Chic

Courtney Love was the poster girl for drug induced perfection. Her grunge roots were paired with an angry overtone and a heavy heroine habit. Kate Moss ushered in waif heroine chic models in numerous adds for Calvin Klein. Shiny skin and glazed over eyes were key if you wanted to achieve true style in your baby doll dress. If you were a boring white girl from the burbs your goal of looking like Courtney Love usually ended up somewhere closer to Blossom.

 Gangsta

Every white boy wanted to be a gangsta. Listening to Dr. Dre and Wu Tang Clan taught you what it was like to live in Compton and you weren't afraid to show it. You rocked your JNCO jeans (complete with wallet chain) and white boy corn rolls. You walked with fake swag that didn't matched your white suburban origins.











These are just a small sample of 90's trends. Also look up the Spice Girls and the beginning of the boy bands. If you decide to throw a 90's party might I suggest a play list filled with only the best 90's R&B.

 Memorable Moments

Maybe He's Just a Horrible Person

It’s very common that I have a loose concept for a blog post without a real idea of how to put it into writing. When this happens the idea usually rattles around in my head like catchy song lyrics. Over the summer I had an experience that caused me to question a friend’s character. More specifically I thought to myself “Maybe he’s just a horrible person?” It was one of those situations where you justify the bad actions of someone you know because it’s easier than dealing with the truth. The question stuck with me for months. So much so that I started to exam other people in my life more closely and discovered other horrible character candidates. I discovered the problem with this question is that the answer is never really clear. Although I thought of it I continued to keep up appearances in person because there is a possibility I was over reacting or jumping to conclusions. The idea however would not unglue itself from my brain.

Much like sexuality being a horrible person exists on a spectrum. If asked to describe a horrible person most of us would describe a cruel angry person who is prone to violence and hatred. Those people are at the far end of the spectrum whereas the people I’m talking about exist somewhere in the middle. It's the point when it goes beyond an annoying personality quirk (he ignores your text messages) and becomes something indicative of a deeper problem (selling cocaine to high-schoolers). Questioning someones character can also happen in reaction to a major event. I remember several years ago when a close friend’s father died. At the funeral he remarked how it shocked him who showed up and who didn’t. He said there were some causal acquaintances that drove several hours to show their support and other friends of several decades who couldn’t find the time to even send a card. It’s one of those moments when you look at a friend and realize that years of comradery were based solely on vodka and Fritos.

 

Cut to yesterday when I spent a lazy Sunday watching a marathon of The Real Housewives of Melbourne. The show was exactly what you’d expect and the two part reunion followed the same format as every other Housewife franchise. Each woman was confronted with video revealing her true thoughts and feelings about her fellow cast mates. Arguments and tears ensued and inevitably someone walked off in distress. That’s when it hit me. What if each of us had to sit through a reunion style episode where we were interrogated about our honest thought and opinions of people we know?  Incriminating text messages would be read and we would get questions like “Why did you tell Todd that you find Steven’s DJing boring and reductive?” or “Why didn’t you give money to Anthony’s Kickstarter?” We would have to own up to the fact that we think his Kickstarter is actually subsidizing his foreskin regrowth addiction and not the children's charity that he claims. We would have to admit to the world that while Anthony is fun to hang out with on a Saturday night, deep down we can't help but feel that he's just a horrible person. At that point in the show Anthony would no doubt lunge across the stage and try and rip out our weave. 

The host (my pick would be Tim Gunn) of the ambush reunion would undoubtedly ask, "If you think he's horrible, why are you still friends?" It's a valid question with numerous possible answers. Horrible people can be fun to hang out with every so often. Maybe he gives really good Christmas presents or maybe he's so cute that you overlook the bad parts. Sometimes the horrible details legitimately have nothing to do with us and can be brushed off as non of our business. Other times it's pure avoidance and laziness. In addition there is always the possibility that we're wrong about our assumptions. There may be information we don't know or false gossip clouding our judgement. For all we know Anthony may in fact be giving every cent of that money to the needy Himalayan whistle kids. In my case the person was not that close of a friend to warrant a major breakup or investigation so instead I just sort of faded him out and quietly unfriended him on Facebook. Luckily I’m not on a Bravo reality show so my newly unfriended enemies won’t be paraded before me in a surprise attack.

Despite what they may think (and in some cases what we tell them) we don’t always agree with every aspect of a person. Most of the time that's just part of being human but in certain cases it becomes unhealthy to keep those toxic people in our lives. Horrible people can be everyone from the guys who sells cocaine to the guy who's funny but deep down cares nothing about anyone else's well being. Either way don't be tricked into thinking that horrible people are easy to spot. Sometimes it takes years for them to show their true colors.

Wendy Williams

Now that E Fashion Police has ended (or on a prolonged hiatus) The Wendy Williams Show is by far my #1 favorite show. The day time talk show airs weekdays while I'm at work but luckily she posts episodes on her YouTube channel by the end of the day. While the show has the normal format, her Hot Topics segment at the beginning of the show is by far the most popular. Enjoy this Hot Topic segment from last week and if you want to see more Wendy visit her YouTube channel.

Everyone is Fat, Broke, and Going Through a Breakup

Why are negative emotions so much easier to relate to? Negativity seems to be the order of the day and positivity seems a bit to unrealistic. When you look back at media from the 1950's everything was so cheery and full of optimism. Everyone truly believed their life would get better and everything would work out. Now we're a nation in need of Prozac. It's like our best hope is that things will simply turn out fine. I once heard a stand-up comic give this advice to new comedians: "No one likes a hero story." His point was that self deprecating humor is much more likeable and relatable. People will instantly get turned off if you talk about how happy you are and how well your life is going. How often have you gotten annoyed with someone's because they were posting too many pictures of their new relationship? While it may seem counter intuitive people are much more naturally draw to negative ideas.

Societies need for the negative is so far reaching that we relate to it even when it has nothing to do with us. Society has constructed certain feelings and emotions in us from an early age. They are the feelings that are so clearly understood by everyone despite the fact that many have never actually had the experience. We relate to them because even if our lives have been perfect we create negativity in where there otherwise isn't. We all feel like the underdogs and therefore we naturally are turned off by anyone who has too much pride. Look at Oprah. She's loved by millions because they look up to her as a guide and teacher. I doubt anyone would ever use the words Oprah and relatable in the same sentence.

Meghan Trainor's song All About That Bass is a great example of this phenomenon. The point of the song is that she's proud of her larger body and tells all the skinny bitches to kiss off. That theme paired with a catchy beat was destined for success. Ask every woman on earth and she'll tell you that she thinks she needs to lose at least 10 pounds regardless of her actual physical condition. Men aren't much better. A lot of men chase an unattainable muscular perfection by taking steroid style testosterone and pursuing ever extreme gym routines. (but that's a topic for a different day) General society has taught everyone to feel physically inadequate and All About That Bass is the theme song of the rebellion. You can go to YouTube and watch videos of legitimate skinny girls singing along with Meghan in united glory. Millions of females all related to being the fat girls despite never actually being the fat girl. Watch the lovely girl in the video below point to her body during the lyric "I ain't no size 2" when in reality she a size 4 at most. Still she knows exactly how Meghan feels and thinks she should be proud of her (non existent) thick figure. It also proves it's totally acceptable to be bitchy to those size 2 girls. Society has defined them as the natural enemy.  Picture if Taylor Swift came out with a song about how proud she is to be skinny and telling fat girls to fuck off. She'd be burned at the stake quicker than she gets dumped by a man. (Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate) Being fat is the universally accepted truth that society can identify with. (I realize if you're in the Bear/Chub world there is a completely different set of unreachable body image standards that do not match with straight society)

Weight isn't the only universal truth. Lack of money is another common aliment everyone suffers from. You could be dining at the most exclusive country club in the most expensive neighborhood and you'd still find everyone agreeing that they don't have enough money. ( Ugh servants are just so expensive these days) Low cash flow is something everyone can relate too. However as you talk to people you discover that their definition of poor and your definition of poor are sometimes vastly different. Have you every been around rich friends who are constantly lamenting that they need to win the lotto even though their normal salary is 4 times yours already? Or that friend who always cries poor but you discover it's because he puts 60% of his paycheck into his saving account. (after a maximum 401k deduction of course) Just because your money is in a different account doesn't mean it's not money. Like weight, society has given us the shared experience of never having enough money. After the economic crash of 2008 frivolous spending and opulence just isn't accepted. Lorde is our voice and none of us will ever be royals.

The last universal plight is the one I'm most guilty of. Everyone can identify with getting dumped. Song writers are very aware of this and have made billions off of the pain and heartache associated with ending relationships. Adele would be just some Brit in a bar if breakup songs weren't so popular. But like I said I can't judge because I'm totally guilty of this one. Give me any diva anthem about strength after her no good man did her wrong and I'll sing along with the conviction of a thousand wronged lovers. It's Not Right But It's Ok, Stronger and Dancing On My Own are just a couple of my favorites to name a few. Nothing gets me dancing like an angry breakup dance remix. However the truth is that I've never actually been cheated on and I've never actually been dumped. Granted I've had limited boyfriend experience but they have all been with very nice guys who remained my friends after our romance ended. Despite the total lack of a bad breakup in my life I can still totally identify with the woman scorned. Bad breakups are another one of those negative emotions that people can unite behind even though not all of us have lived through it. On the flip side it's very difficult to find a positive song about a happy relationship that isn't at least 30 years old. My Man is the one that always comes to my mind. No one wants to sing along with someone's who is happy and in love. Be honest, how quickly did that Pharrell song go from being catchy to incredibly annoying?

In conclusion I'll continue to belt out Dancing On My Own along side my boyfriend who loves me  with the satisfaction of knowing all my bills have been paid on time.