Hoody weather is here. Trade in your worn out oldie for a new favorite. All hoodies pictured are available in sizes 2XL or above. Each one is hand picked by me as something I would totally wear and buy. With that said I can give my extra personal recommendation to the green pick from the Gap and my bestie Justin loves his American Giant zip up.
I love the bear community and consider it my home. Some would even say I’m entrenched in a world of bears and that's the way I like it. Ever since my first days on the internet when I was discovered that such a world existed, I’ve always liked bears. Clearly the number one thing that bonds us as bears is the type of men we are or are attracted to. Bears value masculinity and a body that is hairy and solid. However there are a lot more commonalities that might go unnoticed to the casual observer. Many bears tend to be cut from a similar cloth and therefore have similar interests. Margaret Cho had an old joke that pointed out if you go to a renaissance
fair, a leather bar, and a bear event you’re going to see a lot of the
same faces. Similarly I‘ve always said that if you want to start up on conversation at a bear run you should choose one of the three universal bear topics: sci-fi/gaming, technology/computers, or weight lifting/health. If there had to be a fourth universal topic it would be smoking/drinking. Here’s another tip, if you want to find a bear where you work always start your search in the IT department. I recognize much of this is vast generalizations and stereotypes but stereotypes are there for a reason. Conversations about Doctor Who, the maximum pixel count for your camera phone, or the best lifting routine are all as common as a bear in flannel. Other bears have told me that they’ve never noticed these phenomena before. I guess if you share these interests it’s easy to take it for granted.
I say all this as a sober fashion week loving non-masculine bear who cares nothing about action movies or gym life. I admit that I’ve never really identified with a lot of bear culture. I guess that’s why I’ve never felt it was a large part of my identity. For example when I started this blog it never occurred to me to give it a bear themed name. To be honest I cringe when the word bear is overused especially when its injected into otherwise average words like husbear, celebearity, etc. If you look back over the last four years on this blog you’ll notice a general lack of posts specifically targeting bears. The Bear Pool Party post is probably the most notable exception. Trust me when I say the lack of bear centric article has not been on purpose but rather a natural evolution. I don’t avoid the topic but I usually focus more on general gay themes because that's what genuinely interests me. Apart from the our shared taste in a physical form I guess I feel like I don’t usually like what other bears like.
With all that said, I still love bears and our community and consider myself a part of it. (Yes I'm a bear) Bears really are the most fun guys you’ll ever meet. True our taste in movies or and our views on masculinity are often different but who gives a shit. People tend to spend too much time focusing on their differences. In the end we’re all just dudes who like dudes and our differences are what makes life fun. Many of my dearest friends have a variety of interests different than mine. They include concert nuts, car buffs and beast mode power lifters and that's what makes them interesting people. We always try to define bear in very set terms. I like to think of bear as an umbrella term that encompasses a wide variety of men. In my case my flame might burn a little brighter than most but that's never hindered me from making friends and having fun amongst bears. I’ve always felt welcomed and accepted despite any perceived differences. There's no one specific mold you need to fit into. Most people are pretty good at picking up on when a person is trying to be something they're not. So just relax and have fun.
So when I’m hanging out with a group of bears dressed in their monochromatic clothes talking passionately about whether Ben Affleck will be a good Batman or not I don't get uncomfortable and leave. Instead I choose to turn the conversation toward topics that I can contribute to such as sex or gossip or gossip about sex.
Today, October 10th, is the 4 year anniversary of The Gay Gasp and I dedicated this post to all the wonderful bears out there that have stopped by to read my ramblings.
Hopefully as time goes by I pick up more readers. With that in mind I decided to give some fun facts to help you get to know me better.
I'm afraid of roller coasters.
My paternal grandfather died when my father was a teenager. I know virtually nothing about him other than his name.
I'm Irish, Polish, and Italian. Although my last name is Irish it's only a quarter on my ethnicity. (50% is Italian)
I have a tremendous dislike for Amazon.com because it feels like I'm shopping at a flee market.
Russ is the longest relationship I've ever had. Our two year anniversary is in November.
I'm very good at geography.
I value honesty, self awareness, and confidence.
I've seen every episode of the Golden Girls at least 15 times.
Growing up my favorite movie was Big Business staring Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin.
My friends in Connecticut coined the phrase "Pulling a Joe Cavanaugh." The phrase refers to the act of turning your cheek when someone tries to give you a hello kiss. Example: "When Harold greeted me with a kiss I pulled a Joe Cavanaugh to avoid his fish lips." Unless I want to make-out with you, I find it very uncomfortable to kiss your lips.
My least favorite parts of my body are my butt, pecs and eyes.
Your amount of body hair usually has nothing to do with my attraction level to you.
I distrust anyone who will not tell me their real age.
The first time I was drunk was in 2009. I was 27.
I've never been high.
I believe in God but I 'm not sure why. I think if my faith was really tested, faith wouldn't win.
I've never broken a bone.
I've never had the chicken pox.
The first porn site I ever paid for was Chubnet.com
Bear Runs are a lot of fun.
I have a hard time saying no to trips that involve states I've never been to. I keep an active list of the states I still want to visit.
I grew up with learning disabilities and dyslexia.
Alexander McQueen is my all time favorite fashion designer and artist but Polo Ralph Lauren is one of the only logos I'll wear on clothing.
I've never seen any of the Lord of the Rings movies.
I used to love to watch the segment on how things were made on Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood. My two favorites were crayons and construction paper.
I talk a lot about loving large penises even though it's actually a lot lower on my priority list than you'd think. An outgoing personality, a solid body, and a nice belly are just some of the trump cards. In reality a thick body will almost always win over a thick dick. Think of it this way, the smaller your waste gets the bigger your dick needs to be to compensate.
I'd rather change a friendship than get rid of it.
When I see a bathroom selfie, I always judge the shower curtain.
I want Tim Blanks to narrate my life.
And finally, as much as I tell everyone everything, I have a secret or two that only a handful of people know.
This gentleman has a perfectly lovely mushroom tipped penis. However any chance of hotness is ruined when he opens his mouth and starts to talk. Lets break this one down:
"I love masterbating." Who uses the word masturbating while their masterbating?!? That's the term you use in a doctors office or if you're a disgraced politician in a sex controversy.
"My penis loves me." Really? How long have you two been going out?
"I'm gonna sperm. I'm gonna sperm my load." I had to go back an listen to this several times to make sure I got it correct. Sperm is a noun not a verb. Next time try the words shot, spray, or unload instead.
Conclusion: Leave the dirty talk to the pros and shut your mouth.
How much does a person's appearance matter when it comes to friendship? We all like to think we're much more evolved and appearance in meaningless but there will always be those few friends who exist in our lives for purely superficial reasons. It's not always a conscious choice and you
might not realize how much visual appearance can impact how
you feel about someone. In case you're skeptical, I devised a game to
help clear up how genuine your feelings are. It's pretty simple, think of someone in your life and think of 5 Nice Things to say about them that have nothing to do with their appearance. Although the exercise is simple it can't be a very powerful tool. Listing negative traits is easy. If you had to list the reasons why you hated your enemies you could probably produce 5 reasons in 5 seconds. But if you had to list 5 good things about your husband or best friend it might take a little longer. The exercise helps you remember why you
love someone in the first place.
This all started last year at a party when my friends were all discussing one of their mutual acquaintance. For our purposes I'll call him Sheldon. I had never met him but had heard a lot of stories. From these stories I came to two conclusion. First it was clear that Sheldon was an incredibly irritating person. Second it was just as clear that everyone found him incredibly attractive. So much so that they overlooked all his annoying habits. I was curious to get the groups consensus to see how accurate my assumptions were. Everyone had nothing but positive things to say and everyone liked him as a friend. Thumbs up for Sheldon. However as everyone talked I noticed that all the positive things being said were mainly concentrated on the physical. No one was mentioning any of negative traits I had heard so much about in the past. That prompted me to give them the simple challenge: "Say 5 nice things about him that have nothing to do with the way he looks." Everyone went silent. Obviously it's hard to think of these things when put on the spot so I gave them a very generous amount of time. Many could only think of one or two attributes that fit the criteria. Even to this day I'll bring this question up to the same group to see if they've thought of any more traits. After more than a year still no one has thought of anything new.
As I said this can also remind us why we love the important people in our lives. Take my boyfriend for example. Many people know him
for his wonderfully adorable face but there is a lot more that I also love about him.
The 5 things I love about Russ that have nothing to do with his looks are:
1. His sense of humor
2. His strong work ethic
3. The fact that he has a good relationship with and loves his family
4. His outgoing personality and ability to talk to anyone
5. His love of music, musicals, and kittens
