An Open Letter to Xtube

Good afternoon Xtube,

I'm a fan of your website and according to my profile I've been a member for more than 7 years. Wow! How time flies. It's hard to believe but your simple idea for a site where people can share personal photos and videos was actually years ahead of it's time. Although you blazed the trail, competitors like Dropbox and Tumblr have sprinted ahead of you. Due to your lack of improvement or change you are at risk of becoming outdated and forgotten. However now is the perfect time to evolve and retake your claim as the kings of spank-me time. With electronic communication becoming predominantly mobile the internet has gotten a good scrub down by Apple's no nudity and pornography standards. Tumblr, the raining champion of easy access and sharable porn is at a crossroads since the Yahoo corporation has bought them out earlier this year. Although Yahoo has vowed not to change anything, as time goes by there are bound to be some tweeks and every indicator points to change equaling no more porn. (It should be noted that many people do use Tumblr for non-naked activities but I don't know any of this people) Because many companies have built they're brand based on their app it is difficult for them to break free. Your fear of change and mobile use may have actually helped you because now you can start from scratch and learn from everyone else's mistakes and successes.

In order to get back to the top though you must first improve your mobile site. This will be the key to your survival. Don't waist time and money on an app because then you'll be subject to Apple + Google's mobile app standards. Keep it a simple mobile site that can be accessed with any standard web browser. There's also no need to have a groundbreaking site with never before seen features. You just need something functional. My advice is to copy Youtube's format and make minor adjustments. Once that's done you need to make the mobile uploading of videos as easy as possible from Apple and Droid network devises. People want and use porn on the go. Luckily you already have a built in 'subscribe' feature that you can morph into a newsfeed/dashboard similar to Instagram or Facebook so user can scroll through recent uploads from they're favorite friends. As you remodel your mobile site, don't forget about the full version too. It's long overdue for a makeover.  During this remodel you also need to remove 50% of the banner that clutter the screen because right now your site looks like a cluttered porn hoarder's basement.. I'm sure those ads are the main revenue source for your business so you might be hesitant to cut them down. To offset the loss in add revenue I recommend asking members to pay a minor fee for increased features like advanced search options and nearby GPS member locating You'll be able to keep the main site free but make those added bonuses worth a couple dollars.

There is a growing void in social media for a place where people can practice their sexual exhibitionism and voyeurism. Don't pass up this opportunity to regain your former greatness. Help me Xtube, I've got a raging hard on and you're my only hope. 
 

Fall Fashion Picks

Joe's Spank Me Time

Ja'mie: Private School Girl

Quiche!

Welcome to your new obsession. The Australian hit debut's on HBO on November 24th and I promise you it's AWESOME!


*Brendan totes gets credit for this one!

Bear Beauty Tip

Bears value their rough exteriors and manliness and therefore can get scared off by skin care. While some skin care can be overpriced nonsense, there is a real value and purpose to many products. I decided to start a regular series of tips and tricks specifically for bears.

Problem: Dark Spots

Uneven skin tone is a very common problem. Even the hottest chubby guys can still be embarrassed by the dark spots on their inner thighs and taint.

Solution: Lemons- C.O. Bigelow Lemon Body Cream

Lemon is a natural skin brightener that will help lighten darn spots so they don't stand out. Just to be clear, lemon will help lighten but not totally erase those spots. I recommend Bigelow's Lemon Body Cream because it contains real lemon oil. It has a wonderful light weight creamy texture and fresh lemon scent. Don't worry, it even works on sensitive skin because there is no added fragrance. The product's scent comes from the natural lemons used. 

A couple notes: Know that any form of lemon will work so all you do-it-yourselfers can make your own soaps and concoctions if you're clever.  Also if you're looking for other lemon body products, remember a lemon scent doesn't always mean there is actual lemon in it.

C.O. Bigelow Lemon Body Cream can be found at your local Bath and Body Works as well as www.BathandBodyWorks.com and http://www.BigelowChemists.com/


P.S.- BBW likes to change their labels a lot so don't be surprised if you find a jar that looks slightly different then the picture. 



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Banksy

Banksy is a graffiti artist who you may or may not have heard of despite his headline grabbing work in New York City recently. Like me, you may have heard the name but without much context or further information. I first heard of the artist while reading a funny article on Buzzfeed about an adorable dog who was caught peeing on a small street side work. Soon after a friend living in New York snapped a picture of the Sirens of the Lambs truck driving bye. The name caught my eye again and I filed the information in the back of my head for later research. Not surprisingly just as quickly as I saw the image I  forgot it. That was until Yahoo ran an article about an op-ed piece he had written that was rejected by the New York Times. That's when I decided to find out what this Banksy chatter was all about. After some simple Googling, I found out that he is a British artist currently taking up residency in the Big Apple although his work can be found in several world cities. Although mainly know for street art, he is also a director, political activist and painter.

I must admit my first impression was of the Banky was quite negative. The Yahoo article discussed his failed op-ed piece about the new tower being built on the 9/11 site. He bashed the tower because he felt it was a boring architectural compromise. The whole story reeked of a cry for publicity and attention. I got the feeling that he was more stunt man than artist and I was ready to roll my eyes. However, after looking through the images of his signature stencil work I realized I was completely wrong. There was a delicate subversive humor and wit to his pieces that I didn't expect. Rather than cover a random wall with generic tags, his work was clever and often is influenced by the surrounding. For example, a stone arch is transformed into a bridge for two Japanese geisha girls. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed what I saw. Rarely has my opinion taken such a turn. I look forward to seeing more of his past and future works and hopefully I've peeked your interest enough to give him a look as well. 

All images are from New York City and can be found on http://www.banksy.co.uk/

8 Random Observations

1. Kim K and Kanye are engaged. How does the man who hates fame and publicity marry the biggest media leach in history? Regardless, I can't wait for Kanye's line to come out at Sears.

2. Bitstrips are the newest craze to take over Facebook. FYI they're not cute or funny and just generally awful. AWFUL! You should be embarrassed every time you post one.

3. Instead, I'd prefer to see Unimpressed Dog become the next big meme. Here is the blank picture. Meme away.

4. Pope Francis, the 266th head of the Catholic church is making waves with his approachable and casual nature. It seems the church finally has a leader who wants to focus on inclusion and love rather than sin and judgement. He hasn't completely overhauled the rules but is instead chosen the path of kindness.

5. While we're on the subject of Popes... I'd love to know the true story behind Pope Benedict's decision to step down. There's got to be some serious drama and secrecy there. I'm talking Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce level drama and secrecy.

6. If you didn't think miracles were possible... this is Victoria Beckham before she was famous. Seriously.

7. I've noticed people jumping on the "I'm skipping TBRU this year" bandwagon purely because they think that's what everyone else is doing. I've got a better idea, instead of TBRU, why don't we all jump off a bridge instead!

8. When you go to a concert, do you spend more time watching the actual show or watching the show through your phone as you take video? We're all guilty of it. Here's a tip to being a good audience member: Put your phone away and enjoy in the moment. Sometimes a memory is better than a recorded image.