Random Thoughts

The last songs I downloaded from iTunes were:
 Alone by Heart
 Blow by Ke$ha
 Just Can't Get Enough by The Black Eyed Peas
 Dancing On My Own by Robyn
 Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn
 Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry

I'm getting tired of living in a shitty apartment just because it's in a great location.

Surprise Surprise! I had a very successful first date Monday night.

I'm thinking of getting a second job...but is it worth it? I figure if I work at the mall 5 hours a week at
$10/hr the most my paycheck will be is about $30. (after taxes)  I'll have to weigh the loss of free time vs the money.

I'm in the mood for Black Raspberry Ice Cream

Now that I'm in poor mode, I can think of a million things to spend money on.

Has anyone tried the frozen hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts? It looks Goooood!

In with Jesus, out with Hitler.


.

Joe's Spank Me Time

Part 2!

aka Vernacular

If you make a joke long enough does it become reality? This will be easier to explain in a story:

 

I've known many (whitey whites aka 'Crackers') over the years who use urban vernacular aka 'ebonics' in everyday conversation to be funny. The beige middle class stealing minority culture because they lack their own identity. For example, two middle age white males from suburban Connecticut have the following conversation:

Trevor: Hey Todd, How've you been?

Todd: I've been good. Working hard, playin hard. I keepz it realz yo!
Trevor and Todd: *Laugh* *Laugh* *Laugh*

I've never really gotten the joke but the crowds seem to laugh. Se la ve. But I've started to wonder...at what point does the joke end and your conversation skill begin. I have a news flash for you, after a couple years the joke is gone and forgotten. That's just how you talk. You're basically doing a parody of yourself. I have no problem with slag if it's authenically your culture. One could make the arguement that with modern media more people grow up a culture dominated by rap and hip-hop. That's true but it doesn't explain why out-of-touch middle aged men and women feel the need to talk this way. I guess the only thing worse is using the slang and not getting the joke. We've all met them. The Asian gangsta, the Irish thug, and the Russian rapper. For those people I appologize to you and for you. I don't think you can be helped.  

Truthfully, It's not a major problem or epidemic...It's just an observation.


.

New York Pride

Just before midnight on Friday 6/24/2011 New York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed the same sex marriage bill into law. Normally I would congratulate New York and be done with it. I don't live in the state and therefore their politics do not directly effect me.

This time it's a little different though. Allowing same sex couples to get married in NY is a major milestone. Up until now the 5 states that legalized gay marriage were Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Iowa. (and Washington D.C.) Who are we kidding...none of these states matter. They are the Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) of Sixteen Candles. Smart, pretty, but largely forgotten and unimportant. That's all changed now. NY is Jake Ryan and he's picked us up to celebrate with a cake! All kidding aside, New York is a leader and if you can make it there you can make it anywhere. The gay rights movement has been unsuccessful in prominent states when marriage has come up for a vote. Yes, I'm talking about you California. Hopefully this is a signal that the tide is shifting and more states will follow the Empire State's lead. With the perfect end to the pride season, coincidently with New York Pride this weekend, show your spirit and celebrate. Yes we still have 44 states to go, but slow and steady wins the race.

.

For the Love of God...

Don't wear Teva's...EVER!

6 Pieces Every Man Should Own

Buy anything MESH! You must admitt everyone looks better is mesh. Try these mesh shorts courtesy of Dolce and Gabbana.

A faux patent leather shirt is an instant classic. Choose a bright color to make sure all your friends notice your smart shopping.

 

An oversized floral print shirt pays homage to 70's fashion leader Mr. Furley. Mix several different floral prints in the same shirt for extra style.

Stand out at work with a tiger print dress shirt. Trust me your boss will take notice and you'll get that promotion in no time.

Nothing says summer like a sexy pair of sandles. Mustard yellow feels modern and edgy. If you're worried about ugly feet, just slip on matching dress sock for a hipster feel.

Sometimes fashion can be frivolous. Stay grounded with a classic clear plastic blazer. It's practical and you are still able to show off your new shirt underneath!

Yes I am kidding. However all the pictures are came from the recent Men's wear shows for Spring 2012 on Style.com. Just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's pretty.  (pictured: Dolce and Gabbana, Prada, Jill Sander, and Versace)

And Then There's Maude

This is what's been on my mind this week:

My new drink of choice is shots of Rimplemintz

I've always had a weakness for bearish hippy guys. (Stoners) Although we usually have nothing in common I love their relaxed easy going nature. Example: Sexy Matt the bartender.

My new favorite saying is "and there's Maude." It's best used when you need a funny quip to break awkward tension.

I had a winter hibernation and therefore I've only had sex twice in the last 6-8 months. One of those times was rimming a friends ass. Does that even count? I need to have more sex this summer.

While I was at Providence Pride, I made a conscious effort at the bar to smile more. My relaxed facial expression may not look inviting. It made a small but noticable difference.

Pride Parades should always be at night. It's a much better idea.

Finding new Xtube videos are like a little present from god.  

Joe's Spank Me Time

This cartoon is crazy hot!!

Damn You Marc Jacobs

What do you see when you look at this picture?

What if I told you this was the latest ad campaign for Marc Jacobs. I've always hated his print ads because the general theme is always a celebritty who looks like a cracked out homeless person. (in this case Helena Bonham Carter)  Here is my issue, yes these ads grab your attention. If he was an up and coming designer aiming for the hipster crowd I'd say good job. But he's not. His cloths are worn by celebrities and ladies who lunch. The ads misrepresent the brand. Plus...would this make you want to spend $1000+ for a jacket? I think not. There must be something I am missing because Jacobs has been running these ads for years and has gone on to tremendous success. I still just don't get it.

Sumer Must Have

I can't live without Garnier Nutritioniste Detoxifying Wet Cleansing Towelettes! They are sold to remove make-up but they work great as a quick little cleaning cloth for your face or body. If you have oily skin or if you're hot and sweaty from the summer sun these are a Must Have to wipe away the grime. Great features include a re-sealable pack and clean fresh scent. There are a lot of other brands that have a similar products but I've stuck with these because they tend to be one of the cheapest. (Usually between $6 and $7 at any pharmacy or store) Also a great idea for traveling! Look for them in the skin car section amongst the facial washes.

Late Night Snack

I've hung onto this picture for a months trying to come up with a reason to use it. Well...I can't think of one, so I'll just post it for fun. He cute and I love this picture. Enjoy.

Tracy Morgan

Last week Tracy Morgan of 30 Rock fame did a stand up show in Tennessee and went on an anti-gay tirade. Read the full story below:

http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/10/tracy-morgan-homophobic-act-rant-comedy-gay-threats-kill-son-30-rock/

Either the story hasn't been making very many headlines or I just missed it. But you'd think this would be a story the media would jump all over. Morgan did release a statement afterward apologizing. ""I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville." It sounds like a cut and paste from the PR manager's apology hand book. Personally I don't buy it. But as I was reading the article on TMZ.com as was struck by one of the reader's comments:

"So we live in a society now where you can't tell jokes that might offend some people? Get me off this planet."

Who said he wasn't allowed to offend people? I support his right of free speech to say whatever the hell he wants. He has every right to do so. However all of your actions are going to have a reaction. For example you have the right to tell off your boss and call him a moron and an idiot. Your boss also has the right to fire your ass. You can run your mouth but be prepared to deal with the consequences.


.

Standoffish

My name is Joe and I'm standoffish.

I've come to realize recently that my one great talents in life is being cold and off putting. The skill comes in handy when I'm trying to avoid chatting with an unwanted bar patron. What I didn't realize is that I also do it to friends I know and love. To give some background: In my social circle people give each other a polite kiss when they meet and say hello. A friend was telling a story about how we was trying to dodge a man with especially fishy puckered lips. As he put it "so I did the Joe Cavanaugh." I asked quizzically, what's that? He pointed out that whenever I say hello I avoid kissing someone's lips by turning my cheek in the European style. When I mentioned it to other people, everyone agreed and knew exactly what I was talking about. Apparently everyone else had noticed it except me. One guy even said he was happy to hear that it wasn't a personal issue with him.

Since then I've thought a lot about it. The most important point is that it's totally unconscious. I don't really give it any thought. However on a side note, the whole kissing practice is a bit bizarre. I tend to agree with Julia Roberts in Pretty Women. Kissing is very personal. In addition if I want to kiss you... I'm going to KISS you. Either way I come off as standoffish from the very first impression without even realizing it. I'm not sure if I'm surprised or not... but at this point I'll just add it to the list.

.

My Travel Bucket List

For all the places I've been, there are three trips that I still haven't taken. First, A Mediterranean (Gay) Cruise. I've traveled to Italy and southern France but my dream to experience it all on a relaxing cruise. Plus I've never been to Spain and with a cruise I could kill two birds with one stone. (The route pictured to the right is from RSVP's cruise in July 2011).

Next on my list is the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain. If I ever have enough money for a Mediterranean cruise hopefully I can take an extra day or two and swing up to this architectural wonder.  

Sydney Australia rounds out my top three. Hot Ausie men and toilet water that twists the opposite way...Woohoo! Sydney also hosts one of the world's biggest Gay Pride celebrations. It would be a shame not to see it at least once. However a heavy price tag and epic flight times knock it down to third place.

Honorable Mention goes to:
Chicago IL
Seattle WA
Stockholm Sweden
Rio de Janeiro Brazil
Minneapolis MN
San Diego CA

.

Joe's Spank Me Time.

This picture has been all over Tumblr the past month. Does anyone know who he is? Or at least have a face pic of him? He's body is amazing and I want to feast on his nipples. He makes my mouth water but I'm nervous his face will be a total let down.

America For Sale

My parents recently put their home up for sale. As he was doing research my dad came across an article from AARP that listed the median home prices by state. He was surprised to see that Connecticut (narrowly) beat out California. I looked up the list and it turns out he's right. I wanted to share the list because I thought it was interesting. The top 10 are:

1. Hawaii $875K - With limited space it’s not hard to see why homes are in such high demand. However, I forget about Hawaii a lot and I wasn't expecting it to top the list.

2. New York $690K - Not a total shock. Although I thought NY was going to top the list. Buying a home the city is so expensive that HGTV has an entire show devoted to it. (Selling New York, Thursdays at 9:00 pm) I suspect that without the demand of NYC real-estate Connecticut and New Jersey would be much lower on the list.

3. Washington DC $656K - My only surprise is that DC is in the top 3. Maybe top 10, but I expected California to be in this position. However recent articles have talked about the continued boom of real estate in and around the nations capitol.

4. Connecticut $583 - Go CT! Top 4! Although cities like Hartford, Waterbury, and Bridgeport offer large homes at low prices, most of Connecticut is made up of smaller towns with high value. Example: Greenwich, Avon, Simsbury, and Darien.

5. California $566K - Like I said, I thought California would be in DC’s spot at #3 with all the million dollar listings covering the state. However, smaller states have an advantage of size. They do not have larger numbers of cheaper homes to bring down the average.

6. Massachusetts $534K - Boston is expensive. Boston is also small. The two factors combined consistently drive up home prices. Here again shows the advantage of smaller states.

7. Wyoming $542K - WTF? Where did this come from? The only thing I can assume is that only 4 homes sold last year and one of them happened to be a $10 million ranch that threw off the average. Wyoming has more cows then people. Really.

8. Colorado $482K - I don’t know much about Colorado other then it’s cold there. So I can’t say this is shocking or not shocking because I don’t have much to base it on. Although it's one of only two western states to be in the top 10.

9. New Jersey $441K - I was stunned to see New Jersey so low on the list. It’s small and next to New York…a winning combination. Although high population density and it’s distance from Manhattan doesn’t add up as much as I thought it would.

10. Rhode Island $435K - This was another shocker. I don’t think of RI as being expensive. In addition the housing market crash hit the ocean state hard. Yet again, I think it’s small size helped it climb the list.

As a side note, the bottom 10 are:
42. Kansas $199K
43. Oklahoma $199K
44. Mississippi $197K
45. West Virginia $194K
46. North Dakota $192K
47. Nebraska $190K
48. Indiana $184K
49. Michigan $183K
50. Iowa $177K
51. Ohio $173K

Obsession: White Glasses

This is chef Graham Elliot. Two things...

First and most importantly: My new obsession is white glasses! I must have them. Although I'm worried I need to be tan to pull them off.

Second: Do a google image search of Graham Elliot...He could be Chaz Bono's twin. I'm just sayin'

I Need A Little Elbow Room

This picture leaves me with so many questions. I would be fascinated to see an Xray of him with an arm in his colon. Even better, an Xray of his body before, during, and after taking a man's entire arm. I don't mean this jokingly but:

Where does his arm go?

Does the colon straighten out to accomidate?

If so, does the colon go back into place afterward?

How many days of fasting and douching was needed to clean out his entire digestive track?

Can a penis ever be big enough once you've had an elbow?

Am I a Snob?

I've never been to Hillside. Everything I know about it comes from stories and pictures and not first hand knowledge.

With that being said...why does it look like an Ozark retirement village? I was looking at the pics from Memorial Day weekend and I was trying and imagine myself there. Who would I talk to? What would we talk about? I honestly don't know. (other then the super hot Ian... My mouth would do anything he was involved in) I'm guessing there would be strange looks for my genuine excitement over finding a gray jersey blazer at Kenneth Cole. But with no TV or electronics to keep me busy I'm going need someone who has an extensive knowledge of Girls Will Be Girls, AbFab or Lady Gaga to keep the conversation going. However similar to the Leather crowd and the NE Ursamen, the gruff and burley bears of Hillside look to butch and serious for my special brand of humor. Like I've said before, I'm an acquired taste. I'm not going to blame it all on age either because I think that would be a copout. I'll call it 'point of view.' My point of view and general sensibility seems to be far different then the no-nonsense camping world. I love nonsense. Maybe the magic and mystique of camping is lost in pictures. Seeing as how I've made a lot of assumptions about summer's favorite pastime maybe this will be the year I loose my camping virginity. It's one of the few virginities I have left.

Also please don't mistake this as a knock on Hillside or camping. Far from it! I just question if it's right for me. Trust me. It's not them...it's me.